orphans - JJP

pt 2

(Jaebeom POV)

I stood there frozen. It's like the time has stopped for real this time. The air getting thicker and colder sends chill to his spine. There is no way Jinyoung is the murderer. Jinyoung would never do such things right? Even after I inspected on his apartment. Even after I found all of the related equipment used in the murder scenes, I still have doubt that it would be him, I still have faith that it would be a coincidence. Why did he has to confess now. He doesn't need to do that, he should just shut up and let this be a cold case. 

Jaebeom you must have lost your mind. You are a fucking criminologist who works with the police that somehow you don't even do your work well analyzing the criminal behavior and search for the criminal instead. 

I must have been crazy. I should have never ask my senior for a personal investigation. I should just let the case die. Now I can't that I am now facing the murderer himself. Handing himself to me.

"why are you telling me this Jinyoung?"

"because I don't want you to suspect my brothers. They have suffer enough for my own wrong doing that they have to cover for me if I am missing classes in college." 

"I am not suspecting anyone.... yet."

"But you've seen everything. oh. you must have want to let it slide because it can't be me weren't you?" Jinyoung said in sarcastic manner. "weren't you egoistic to do that, hyung?"

he just have to put an accent to the word hyung to make me feel worse. I should give him to the police and they will take care of this but I can't. why can't I?

"that's not the case. I am still doing and arranging the report to decide." 

"You know now. will you keep me behind those bars?"

there is tension. I can't do this. it wasn't supposed to be this hard to arrest a willing suspect. 

"Will you kill me to shut me up?" 

"I won't" 

"Why?"

"Because you are not doing me any harm and I only kill harmful people."

"Jinyoung, Will you kill again?"

"I don't know."

"will you promise me not to kill again?"

My voice was surrounded by fear of doing the wrong thing. I know clearly my head screaming to get help from my senior and hand Jinyoung in, but my heart is stopping me from doing so. I should not offer him a choice though. it's not even my rights.

"will you pretend you know nothing if I say Yes, hyung?"

"I don't know." 

I am on the verge of crying. thankfully, the cold night seems to crystalize my tears so they won't fall off anytime soon. I don't know what I am feeling. betrayed? he never promise anything to me. 

"Forget about your promise of protecting me hyung. I know you think that's wrong. So let's pretend you never said that and do what you think is right. I don't want to use your feeling for my benefit. If you are not going to arrest me now then I'm leaving."

Jinyoung stands from the bench and walks away. I am still standing there frozen. My foot refuse to move. I feel like my heart was scattered all over the place and pieces of them are unable to be found. there is now way for me to put it all back again to be whole. 

I involuntarily ran towards him as fast as I could before I lost all the sign of him. I grab his left wrist and put my mass to the ground to stop him from walking. I then put my hands on his arms and turned him around to face myself. I can't hide my facial expression anymore. I think my tear has fallen this time. I am in dilemma battling on what is wrong and what is right. Yet, I still followed my heart. that's what has been thought to me. If I end up making the wrong decision then I should just cover it up later.