One Day At A Time

|Chaper 1|

Hazel

I was in the delivery room for about half an hour before the nurses and obgyn came in. Everybody who was already in the room were allowed to stay, but Javier left because he doesn't like blood and my dad left because he said he didn't want to see me in that much pain.

Understandable.

The whole time I was here I barely said anything to anyone. My thoughts and worries were poundin in my head continuously as if someone was incessantly hitting me, my head in particular, with a bat. I couldn't help but think that it's my fault baby girl is comin early and that there was nothin I could do.

If only I could have done things differently or even changed my mind about going out. Literally all the events of today would have played out way differently and me nor anyone else would be in this predicament. It's all my fault and there's nothing I can do about it. The guilt is literally eating me up right now and I can't handle it.

"Can I get an epidural please?" I ask the obgyn as she rolls her chair up.

"Ma'am I'm so sorry you're in this pain, but I'm afraid it's a tad too late for that. Your baby has already begun crowning."

"So what that mean?" Demi asks, standin on side of me, a look of confusion plastered on her face as she raises her eyebrow.

"It means that her baby's head has emerged bit by bit since the accident and is at the vaginal opening. She's ready to come now and there's no way of stopping the process. When a baby is ready, they're ready."

She put on her gloves, face mask, and other equipment she needed to be prepared to help me give birth. Seeing her move so swiftly tells me this isn't her first rodeo regarding this type of incident, but it's most definitely mine and although I'm ready to meet her, I'm not ready just yet.

There's still so much I wanted to watch on how to prepare myself for the delivery and what to expect going forward.

"You ready mama?" The doctor asks looking up at me?

She smiles a warm smile as if to calm me down and show me that there's nothing to worry about. I can tell she's trying to get me to understand that I'm safe in her hands, but I just can't seem to get out of my head. So much is going through my head right now I can't even focus.

I shake my head no, worried somethin might go terribly wrong. I'd read about premature births when my doctor told me that I might have my baby premature, and I read that a woman had to get an epidural and a c section because her baby's heart rate had dropped tremendously. I don't want anything as serious as that to happen because I might lose my mind.

"Well you gotta get ready because baby is ready to come now."

I nod my head and wipe the tear that had escaped from my eyes. I did a good job holding them back for a bit until somehow I couldn't anymore.

As I begin pushin, the door opens and I look up to see more nurses rollin in an incubator. My eyes immediately fill with more tears as I remember what those are used for.

Now I won't even get a chance to hold her.

Once I'd given birth to my baby girl, they cleaned her and put her in the incubator. They let me look at her through the curtain and then they soon rolled her out because premature birth is super dangerous and life threatening. They have to move quickly to make sure they get her the proper treatment right away.