One Day At A Time

|Chapter 25|

Karter

The feeling of someone touching my shoulder causes me to open my eyes and look up to see Mrs. Hammond. She's our neighbor and someone who's like another grandma to Justyce and me, being that my dad would send us over there from time to time when TT or anyone else couldn't keep us. She's a sweet lady.

She bends down and gives me a tight hug before moving down the row to TT. We are currently at my dad's funeral, and I have to close my eyes to keep the tears from streaming down my face. I tried to stay as strong as I could, but once the lady got up there to sing, I couldn't keep it in anymore. She had sung one of my dad's favorite gospel songs and I knew what she was singing the moment I felt the vibrations and she opened her mouth to sing. I haven't cried since the day I found out my dad died, which was when we were in the hospital, so I just know once we get up to see him I'm going to break down.

"You okay?" Demi signs to me after I look up at her.

After losing my hearing aids at the site after the game, I didn't bother to ask for more and they haven't either since they were busy trying to get the funeral together. I don't mind though. I've been wanting to be alone more now than anything anyway. It's sort of a way to distance myself from everything.

"Yeah. You?" I ask, making her nod her her head.

I then look down at Justyce, who is sitting in Demi's lap because she had been crying. She finally understands what's going on after Demi had a talk with her, which she didn't take well at first. She is the reason I'm trying so hard to stay strong right now. I was always my daddy's little girl, but ever since Justyce came along, he and Demi told me I had to be a big girl for her and I have to keep my promise.

I've convinced myself that I was a strong and good big sister, but how am I supposed to maintain this strongness when I just lost a huge part of myself. My dad was my world, my hero, my biggest supporter, my life, and now he had been taken from me. I never thought I'd have to question the Lord, but why did he take him from me when I still need him? If he loves everyone equally and is so almighty, why couldn't he save my dad or at least give him an injury instead of taking him from me? He was one of the good ones. I felt like he was all I had left sometimes and he was just snatched away from me within the blink of an eye. I didn't even get a chance to tell him I loved him again or tell him goodbye.

Thinking about all of this makes my heart heavy and I feel my eyes begin to water again. I unfold the handkerchief my grandma gave me and wipe my tears, leaning into Demi as she wraps her arms around me. I hide my face into the handkerchief and scoot closer to Demi almost so that I couldn't be seen.

I have to give it to Demi. She's tried to stay strong throughout all of this, but I know its hard losing a husband- well almost husband. My dad had told me a while ago that he was going to marry Demi soon and he just needed her family's approval, and he got it, its just that he never got the chance to get down on one knee and ask her to be with her until death does them part.

I was heartbroken along with her when she found where he hid the ring. She took on the role of being my mother when my own mother couldn't be, and she did it with no hesitation, so I owe her alot. Especially now that she's going to be doing it alone. I'll try my hardest to not make things hard on her because I know its not easy raising two girls without the help of their father.

"Hmm?" I hum looking up at Demi.

I look around and see that everyone had gotten up to pay their respects already and it was just us in the church. The immediate family of my dad. I feel a knot in my chest as I stand to my feet along with everyone else. My throat begins to dry out and my palms begin to get sweaty as I realize what's about to happen.