Amanda Smith (The Avengers ff) #English

33.

There is mist everywhere.
After a while everything becomes clearer.
Slowly I recognize the environment. An operating room.
Doctors frantically run around an operating table.
It can be seen on the ECG device that the heartbeat has already stopped.
"Ventricular fibrillation", the operating doctor says.
I can't understand anymore.
When the nurses finally set aside, I see who it is. Me.
"What's going on here?", I scream, but they don't hear me. I can just watch desperately.

He closes the wound as a couple of nurses bring the defibrillator to him.
Shortly thereafter, I feel a shock, as if I was electrically charged.
Again and again they give me shocks, until everything disappears again.

Darkness.
Silence.
Unbearable to feel that feeling again.

I always used to imagine what it's like to be a ghost and scare others. I always thought it's funny.
But then, as I got older, it became clear to me that there was nothing funny about being dead. After what has just happened, certainly not.

As I've always read, in near-death experiences, some people talk about a glaring light or nothingness. Some also talked about deceased relatives who they saw then. At this moment I wish to see my parents again. The idea of ​​nothing seems too sad. It's all over.

Now I don't want to think about it anymore.
When will I finally wake up?

Hours later, early in the morning

Slowly my sense of hearing returns. I hear voices, but they sound as if they are far away.
I still can't move.

As the moments pass, the voices grow louder and clearer.
Even the darkness disappears slowly through the neon lights on the ceiling.
I try to get used to the light by blinking and look around slowly. Steve and Natasha are here, talking.
"Can you be a bit quieter?", I ask, whereupon they both look at me.
"How are you?", Steve asks.
"I'm fine, just tired", I say with a smile.
"That's normal, you've lost a lot of blood", Natasha says.
"You shouldn't have gone alone, it was too dangerous", Steve says, sounding like a brother again.
"Why do you always treat me like a child?", I just ask.
"Because you are still a child".
Great, that boosts self-esteem immensely.

Slowly I look at my shoulder. A wound dressing, which was fixed with two long patches, covers the wound.
Whether the remaining scar is very large?
Hopefully not.

"When can I get out of here?", I ask and take a glass of water, which is on the cupboard next to my bed.
"If the doctor declares you healthy", Steve says. I don't want to stay here any longer.
"Can't I dismiss myself?", I ask, trying to get up.
"Can't you wait a few days?", Natasha asks, sitting on the chair next to me.
I just shake my head,
"I have to go back to school", I say.
"Please at least another day", Steve looks at me pleadingly.
"Just a day", I look at my blanket.

Later at noon

After Steve and Natasha left, I tried to sleep again.
Unfortunately, futile.
Now I message Peter and Ned. Unfortunately, Ned still seems to sleep, but Peter is already awake and answers.

How does Tony know that?
He has certainly found a way to spy on us. But it doesn't matter now.

I put the phone away smiling and watch Bosnian TV.
I need something to do here.