Lost in Battle. (Sequel To The Future That Can Be)

Ch. 15

Arthur didn't speak a word as he let his head hang again as if in shame. I wanted him to speak. To stop being weak and look me in the eyes and tell me everything he did. Everything he regrets and is afraid to speak of. Thomas smiled in amusement as he walked behind Arthur and looked up at me.

"Pathetic, isn't he?" He grinned.

"What...did you do?" I asked in a calmed voice. I didn't want to frighten him into not telling me anything.

"I-"

"Look at me."

He slowly lifted his head, blue eyes meeting mine. His full of fear and sadness. I hated seeing those emotions in them, but at the moment , I was trying to ignore it as I heard him speak.

"I wasn't the best. I lost myself, Merlin. But it was only for a short while."

"You're not telling." Thomas sang.

I didn't take my eyes off Arthur, didn't speak, didn't move.

"Besides almost killing my father, I neglected Gaius. I let my father lock him for a week for hiding a sorcerer. He begged me for help but... I didn't. I let it happen. I almost let him die because of that too, but that's when I stepped in and that's when everything with my father happened."

I clenched my jaw as I remained silent, knowing there was more. But why start with that? That could've easily been the worse thing he could've done. What else is there?

"I stopped being the person you wanted me to be. I started ignoring my people. They needed my help but I turned away and pretended not to know. Left them by themselves to try and live. Or die trying."

No. That wasn't it. That wasn't the worse thing was it? I don't think anything could be.

"Here comes the good part." Thomas spoke like an excited child.

Arthur looked at me, "Mordred came to me," I furrowed my brows as he spoke of him, "He asked for my help. There was this... girl. She was dying and he didn't know what else to do."

Did Arthur not know? Where was this heading?

"I said no. And he used his magic," he looked down for a second before back at me, "That's when I threatened to execute him in front of the kingdom for performing magic in Camelot and being a sorcerer, if he didn't leave."

I stayed silent as I watched Arthur. He was only looking at me without saying a word anymore and I had no words of my own. Mordred must had tested him and it was part of Thomas' plan. What else could it had been?

"This is all so... magical." Thomas laughed and I quickly pinned his body against the wooden wall of the house and used my other hand to guide the candles to form around him before making the flames grow big, surrounding him.

"What are you doing!?" He asked as he looked at me in horror, "He's a threat!"

"The only threat here, is you. And me." I started chanting a spell to make the flames engulf him when Arthur said my name.

"Don't...you're better than this. You're better than him."

I looked at him and I furrowed my brows as I did. What was he thinking? Talking to me that way. I didn't say anything to him and turned back to Thomas.

"Bring down the veil." I ordered him.

"Fine. Fine, I will. Put me down."

I let the flames go back to normal but I continued to hold him in place. I then slowly put him down and I followed him out. I watched him reverse his spell and I saw the rest of the knights.

"Merlin!" Lancelot called and I looked back at him.

I then turned to Thomas, "Leave. Leave now and leave Camelot alone...or I will kill you." I threatened him.

He looked me in the eyes but said nothing as he stepped back and spoke words before disappearing.

My breathing got heavy and I stopped myself from crying or letting any tears form. I turned to Lancelot and he hurried towards me. I instantly wrapped my arms around him and I held him close. I closed my eyes and tried not to think of it anymore, but I couldn't.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered to him.

"I'm so sorry."

He knew what I was talking about as he gently ran his fingers through my hair. He let out a shaky breath and I pulled back.

"I-"

"I know," he nodded, "For now, let's go back. And we'll figure it out. We will."

I nodded and quickly wiped away the tears that escaped and I turned to see Arthur standing there, watching us.

"Merlin," He said softly.

I looked away and walked back to my horse, getting on it. We all did the same, not saying a word as we headed back.

The ride was long. Too long. It was driving me mad. The rest would chatter among themselves, Morgana finding her way beside me. I looked at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Did I? I did. But was she the right person? She too once tried to destroy Camelot for that reason. Will she go back to her old habits if I tell her?

"I'm not sure. I think it's safer if you don't know."

She simply nodded, "I understand. If you ever need anything, anyone..."

"I know. Thank you. So much. Not just for this but for the past year. You've done so much for me and I owe you. You mean a lot to me."

She smiled and I smiled back.

"Now, go back with them. My silence will only make you go crazier than you already are."

She chuckled softly and rode further ahead with the others as I stayed in the back. I would get occasional glances from Arthur, but I'd pretend not to see. And it was like that the whole ride back. Considering we had no useless stops and interruptions, we made it back right before sunset.

Gaius walked out with Uther and they both smiled.

"Arthur." Uther smiled widely, relief to see him alive. They hugged and whispered to each other.

I hugged Gaius and smiled at him.

"I'm proud of you." He said softly.

"Me too."

And I meant I was proud of finally thinking. Of realizing things and figuring out what it is I want.

"Come on."

We were about to walk when Uther called me. I turned to look at him and he stepped closer.

"Thank you. I asked you to bring my son back, and you did."

I nodded, "I promised you."

He smiled and patted my back, "I would like to have a private conversation with you."

"Of course, your majesty."

I turned with Gaius and we both walked back to our chamber. I stayed silent at first before looking at Gaius and him back at me. He sighed.

"You know."

"I do. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Merlin, it was unnecessary of you to know," he began as he walked closer, "Arthur was not himself. He didn't mean anything."

"He still did it." I spat as I shook my head.

"It's unforgivable. You, that you're like a father to him, he did that to you! I understand it coming from Uther but Arthur himself?! Also, nobody told me. Why? Everyone expect for me to go running to him and be happy with him without ever knowing? No. Tomorrow morning, we both quit. And we will leave."

I didn't let him speak as I walked into my room and closed the door.

I know it wasn't my place, but if I left, he was coming with me. I couldn't think of leaving him with them. Not by himself. Not again. I sighed and I laid down. This night was going to be a long one. Again.