The Amazing Adventures of a Socially Awkward Overthinker

The first of many Awkward tales

So, I decided to write about the wonderful things that I've done recently or as a kid that are probably awkward. You see, I don't find things awkward. I'm aware when things are supposed to be awkward and  when others think things are awkward...but I never personally find things awkward. Maybe it's because I'm just so socially awkward I can't tell. So, I decided to share my tales with the world, so that all the other socially awkward penguins out there will know they're not alone.

Alright, so I'll start this off with the my difficulty with answering a basic question. I'll set up a scene that happens almost once a week.

* * *

My mom walks in my room while I have assumed the position of sitting in my favorite chair with my laptop on my lap and not wanting to move for the next three months. She smiles and I force myself to look away from the screen.

"Would you like to come shopping with us?" she asks. The "us" she is referring to is my sisters and her. Now, instead of answering with a simple YES or NO like any normal person would, I stay quiet for a while.

"Give me a minute,"  is usually my response. Then, I proceed to overthink every possible thing that could happen. Instead of just saying,  "Eh, I'll go another day" or "Yeah, I'll go," I start to wonder if I'll see anyone I know if I go, or if I have anything good to wear, or if my hair will decide to behave, etc. Then, if I really want to go, I have to convince myself that I should go by giving myself a pep talk...

the end result is I almost never go.

But on the rare occasion that I actually go, there's the infamous predicament of me trying to buy something by myself. The last time I tried to pay for something, it was something GIR related (I'm a big invader Zim fan) I think it ended up costing eight dollars...and ten cents.

I had the eight dollars but I FORGOT TO GET OUT THE TEN CENTS. Now, this might not seem that awkward, but it was because that I was oblivious to the fact that I forgot to completely pay for the item. Thankfully the guy was really nice and asked if I had ten cents.

Not knowing what he was talking about I said no.

It wasn't until my mom was digging into her purse to give me a dime that I realized what I had just said.

I tried to recover from that by saying, "oh wait, I've got it,"

but no, my mom ended up paying for the whole thing. I was certain that everyone thought I was an idiot.

but it didn't end there.

I went to buy a something to eat and it was a little over five dollars.  I got out a five dollar bill, and not wanting to make the same mistake I'd made under an hour ago, I got out an extra dollar...but I accidently grabbed three somehow. Not wanting to shuffle around my wallet, smoothie, purse awkwardly, I gave him all four dollar bills. Right as I was giving it to him, I realized my mistake. He gave me a strange look, and handed me the extra two dollars back. Then my grandmother, who was with me at the time, asked me if we'd learned how to count change in school yet. She was  completely serious even though I was in 8th grade at the time.

I didn't go to the mall for several months after that.

* * *

Wow, this went from about answering a question to how I can't buy things at stores properly. Oh well. :P

So, the question stands, has this happened to anyone else? Or maybe something similar?

Either way, at least you can be assured that awkward things happen to everyone...it's just that awkward moments happen to me a little more often than they should.