For starters, when I go to a public restroom, I almost never go in one of the stalls. I only go because my sister's in there, or whoever I'm with. I just stand there, but I don't want people to think I'm creepy, so I pretend that I've just gotten out of a stall and start washing my hands each time someone passes by. I usually wash my hands three times. After the third time, I try to fix my hair. I don't want people to think I'm an ego maniac, so I don't do this for long. Then I pretend to dry my hands (if they are already dry) and spend my time throwing paper towels away. That's as far as I've got planned, so hopefully I won't have to be there any longer in the future.
If someone tells me to wait somewhere in a store, I pretend that I'm buying things so the employees won't stare at me. I'll look through the clothes, or whatever is by me thoroughly, and I'll pretend to read labels.
I don't know about you guys, but if I'm walking with friends, I almost always end up having to walk behind them. It's always me. And I never get included in the conversation. When this happens, I back up a bit so I don't look like I'm being excluded from a group. I act like I'm just going in the same direction as them until there's enough room for me. Then I act as though I'm just catching up with them.
When someone asks to use my computer, I freak out. I don't do anything suspicious on my computer, so I don't see why I act like it, but for some reason I think that they'll find something and the website suddenly changed to something terrible...
Most of the time, I'll type a long message full of my thoughts and feelings to someone I may or may not like. I then re-read it about ten times, edit it, and end up saying "how are you" instead.
I look back on previous conversations or potential conversations in my head and make facial expressions along with it and mouth the words I'm responding with. I'm terribly sorry if you've witnessed me do this, I must seem like a freak to you.
When I have to cough in public, I try to hold it back. I didn't realize that was possible, but apparently it is. But then my eyes start watering and I panic because now everyone thinks I'm crying. So I start wiping my eyes while I'm practically choking and I end up looking like I'm having a neck spasm.
If I lose something in class and the teacher puts it up in the front of the room in case anyone knows who it's for, I don't go and get it. No, everyone will be looking at me. So I wait until the end of class to get it, after everyone's left the room. If someone asks why I didn't get it earlier, I say I wasn't paying attention, when in fact I was planning on how to get it the entire class.
If I'm not sure if I know someone's first name, even if I know for a fact that I do know, I'm still scared that it'll come out wrong, so I hardly ever refer to people by their first name. Not even my sisters sometimes.
If I'm about to log out of something, like Wattpad for example, and I see that someone just logged on, I wait to log out so that person won't think I left because of them.
When I call someone, on the rare occasion that I ever call anyone, I pray that it isn't voice mail. I don't know how to leave a message or what to say, and even if I did it would be terribly awkward. If it does go to voice mail, I hang up and call back later. I usually plan a time to call back, like an hour or two later so they don't think I'm creepy.
I'l buy something I really like and I'd really want to wear, like my GIR hat, for example, but I never wear it because people might look at me funny. So, I end up just holding it in my hands the entire time.
If I forget something at lunch or at a buffet, like a fork, I don't get up and take the walk of shame unless I absolutely have to. I usually eat with my hands....but if I really have to get a fork, I get a whole new plate so it looks like I never forgot anything.
I'm too lazy to put on my contacts sometimes, so I don't wear them while going out in public occasionally. I instantly regret that once I'm in the car, and I start worrying that someone I know will be there, and I won't be able to see them, and they'll think that I'm ignoring them.
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So, I think that's enough for now, don't you think? I'll add more later :P
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The Amazing Adventures of a Socially Awkward Overthinker
Non-FictionThis is a documentation of the amazingly awkward events in my life. Feel free to laugh, relate, or share your own awkward moments if you'd like. I've spent too much time feeling like I was the only one who was really socially awkward, so I'm here t...
