The Amazing Adventures of a Socially Awkward Overthinker

Something not as awkward

Today I went to the mall. Not a big event for most teenagers, I know...but it was for me. This is the second time in a row that I've gone to the mall without having an anxiety attack or started to panic. I'll admit, I got really close at one point when I first got there, but after a while, I was okay.

So, I've decided to make this part of my adventure through my shy life a positive one. Maybe some of you reading this also suffer from social anxiety. Apparently mine was/is pretty severe for my age, but this isn't about who's more anxious than the other. If you're anxious, you're anxious.

Anyway,  while looking through a few batman related items, some more people came into the store. I didn't exactly fit in at the store, at least not appearance wise. It wasn't so much that I was worried about fitting in, I was worried that people would look at me and start judging me. For example, I was afraid they'd think I only liked Batman because of the new movie, or that I didn't belong there and wasn't truly a fan of anything at the store, etc.

Then I thought to myself, why the heck do I care so much about what other people think of me? If they are actually going to judge that much about me in one or two glances, then they obviously aren't worth worrying about. And odds are, they aren't that mean. It's almost rude of me to assume that they are, and I'm not really assuming that they would judge me, I'm just afraid that they will. And it's impossible for me to know that (you know, unless they say it out loud). I can't read minds. People are going to judge me and I can't control that...but if it's not true, why let it bother me? Sure, it's going to hurt that they think of me that way at first, but there's nothing to worry about if it's not true.

People always go on about how we all need to stop judging each other...well, that's never going to happen. Sometimes we need to make judgements, whether it's in their favor or not.  If you see some guy flailing a knife around, you're going to assume he's dangerous. It's normal, it's safer that way. (after he puts the knife up) go ahead and try to get to know him if you want, it's your choice...but sometimes it's safer to assume, just as long as you make a logical assumption and it isn't overly stereotypical and irrational. And don't expect the person to be exactly how you assume them to be. It's not judging that needs to change, it's the amount of respect we show other people. And there's always going to be someone that's going to be rude, we just need to learn how to deal with it, not get too defensive about it, and move on. I know that's not easy to do, either.

I'm getting off topic, aren't I?

What I was originally going to post is what I did to calm myself down (for both future reference, and in case anyone reading this wants to know)

I looked around and realized that I'm okay. No one's hurting me, no one's laughing at me, no one's even looking at me for more than two seconds. They'll probably forget about me by the time they go home, and if not, they're probably a lot like me. I then realized that if I like going to this store, then I should go. A few potential mean-spirited people shouldn't get in the way of me looking at and buying things that I want to have, or doing something with my friends. About twenty minutes later, I had forgotten about that anxious feeling.  I wasn't awkwardly walking around the store trying to hide from everyone's vision. Everything was alright. I was okay.

And now I know how to get through a situation like this. Which is amazing because now I know how to deal with things and these anxiety problems will come up less and less. I'll always be shy, and awkward things will happen to me in the future, I just won't nearly have a heart attack and obsess over them when they do happen.

* * *

So, I'm genuinely curious, do any of you (the readers) have anxiety (and if you're comfortable with elaborating, when was the last time you felt anxious)..or more importantly, do you have any ways to calm down?