The Amazing Adventures of a Socially Awkward Overthinker

Poe and I

Edgar Allan Poe is my favorite author.
He was a genius... a little crazy, but all the best people are not quite sane.

So, the quote from his poem Alone:

"And all that I've loved, I've loved alone."

Seems to reign true in my life as well. Probably not, maybe...I don't know. It's just that every feeling I have seems to be always unrequitted. Even the person I considered my closest friend didn't think I was their closest friend...it wasn't their fault. I just don't open up to people that much.

It's my fault, I guess. I have a problem talking to people (obviously)...so if I do open to anyone, I hope they realize how huge that is...and no, I don't mean venting. I'll occasionally rant but never give many details. If I give details, if I completely tell you everything...it's a huge step, a huge sign. I can barely tell my family I love them. I need to work on that.

*sigh*

I'm not giving up, though. No, there's no way that I can do that at this point. I've come too far, too close to give up now. But now I've done my half...and I guess I've finally realized that. I'll just have to give it time. Good things will come in time, and the wait will be worth it.

I'm fine. And not that stupid lie we always tell eachother...I'm actually alright.
Am I as happy as I could be? Of course not.
but I'm okay. And I have a strong feeling that things will fall into place.

And out of everything I'm afraid of, I'm not afraid of this. And I wonder why that is.

I'll stop rambling now.
it's not like anyone that I want to read this will read this....that I know of.