Reaction || Malum ||

4

Sometimes we find beauty and peace in the smallest of things. Take books for example. They are small and light but so full of wonder and ideas packed with beauty. This plays true throughout nature even. An ant can find the most microscopic piece of food but to that ant it's the biggest thing for them. Realising the beauty and importance of small things is something we as human beings need to learn a little better.

Opening a book is like stepping into another world and to me that's a beautiful thing.

I've felt like I've stepped into another world as of late. My patience has been tried within only a few days of knowing Calum but for some reason I am finding beauty in it. I've never found beauty in silence but with Calum I am discovering it one bit at a time. I could get used to paying attention to actions instead of words, except when these actions include a crying Calum.

I brought him into my library to just show it to him and hopefully take his mind off the thing that is eating at him. I flicked on the light, illuminating all the covers and spines of my books and Calum's eyes widened in wonder.

"This is where I like to come whenever I'm upset." I said with my voice echoing off the walls of books. Calum turned to me with tear stained cheeks and offered me the tiniest smile I'd ever seen.

"Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?" I asked and kicked myself for even asking because I know Calum doesn't talk.

Just as I expected, he shakes his head at me. Maybe I could show him a few books and ask him if he has read any.

"Have you read very many books?" I asked and again he shook his head.

"Well would you like to read one?" I asked and Calum shrugged. I walked over and grabbed a blue covered book off the shelf. It was a brand new book and everyone and their grandmother was reading it so I figured Calum could just jump on board.

"Here, it's The Fault In Our Stars. Everyone is reading it and if you don't cry at the end I'm pretty sure you are heartless." I joked a little and Calum cracked a little more of a smile. He held the book in his rather large hands and I watched as his eyes scanned over the cover.

"This may sound like incredibly cheesy but would you like to have a sleepover in here? I have this projector that simulates the stars and I've been wanting to try it out." I asked and felt incredibly lame but Calum nodded with an even bigger smile than before.

"Okay, wait here!" I said and hurried out of the room. I went to our huge hallway closet that had extra blankets, pillows and a couple of sleeping bags and carried them back to the library. I threw them on the floor and then went to my room for some more pillows. I carried as many would fit in my arms and hurried back to Calum.

When I opened the door he was sitting in one if the chairs reading. It gave me some sort of weird satisfaction when people read the books I gave them. It was like that finding beauty in the little things again. He smiled up at me and closed the book. He sat it in the chair and walked over to help me spread out the blankets.

Once we accomplished that task with me laughing the majority of the time, I moved around our blankets to turn on the projector. The room was only momentarily dark until simulated stars cast a glow over the entire library. It was almost serene now. Something about the glow of a thousand stars soothed the soul.

"I love the stars so much but this is just as amazing." I said and glanced over to Calum. His face was illuminated in the blue and green lights of our "stars" and his brown eyes seemed to glitter. He looked at me then back up to the ceiling. I still felt bad about his parents and that my parents lied to me about it in the first explanation.

I wished I could hear Calum's voice and hear what he's thinking. That's a great advantage of spoken language is that we hear what others are thinking or even what we are thinking ourselves. Using my voice is something I took great pride in.

"You know Calum, you can talk to me if you want. I won't tell anyone." I said and Calum nodded. Things were silent again but I was actually enjoying it. Being next to Calum was comfortable. He was making me question a lot of things. It's weird that it's only been a couple of days.

"Thank you." He said so quietly that I was for certain I was hearing things. I rolled my head to the side to look at him and offered him a friendly smile.

"You're welcome." I said and it was silent again.

"I really like the stars too." He said, again his voice was very quiet but very quirky.

"Are we friends Calum? Because once summer is here I only have Luke and I'd hate for us to be living together and not be friends."

"Yeah we are friends." He said a little louder. This time it was loud enough for me to be positive his voice was velvet. He had a tiny bit of a lisp which just added to the fact that I was completely intrigued by Calum.

"Goodnight Cal-Pal." I said, making the lamest joke ever and I swear I heard Calum laugh softly.

"Goodnight Mikey." He said with a nickname of his own and I drifted off to sleep. Under the stars and next I the boy I was starting to have a crush on.

Calum's POV

I've been terrified for too long. All my silence towards everyone is becoming very deafening to myself. Michael has been trying the hardest in the past two days than any one has ever tried in my whole life. I knew when I looked into his green eyes for the first time I was destined for damnation. All he does is talk and ask me questions that I've been dying to answer and tonight I let my guard down.

I have no idea how long I will be living here with Michael and his family but I hope it's not long enough for me to develop feelings for him. My sexuality is no longer in question and is probably a main reason that I'm here in the first place.

I told my parents the night they were killed. We were on our way back from an awards banquet for my sister and I decided that was a good time to do it. Boy was I wrong. My parents irrupted into war in the from seat. My mum told me that she loved me while my father absolutely forbid me to call myself his son. My sister was the innocent bystander in all of this and I was thankful she went to a friends house that night.

My dad was blinded with rage when he swerved and lost control of the car. I was told my mum was killed instantly and my dad died after a couple of hours. I was in a coma for a couple weeks. When I woke up I had amnesia and no parents. My sister barely spoke to me and we were forced to live with my aunt and uncle. Once my uncle got wind I was gay and knocked me around a few times, my aunt called Jeff and Karen.

It's so weird to me how the smallest of things can carry the ugliest of consequences. The things that define us can also be the things that destroy us. No matter how small.

Michael drifted off to sleep at least an hour ago and I've been here stating up at these "stars." I admit they are beautiful but not as beautiful as the boy lying next to me. Would it kill me to talk to him? I mean he tries like hell to get me to just answer one of his endless questions would it really be so bad?

I loved listening to his voice. I hated my own. I was terrified to speak anymore because the last time I spoke it resulted in my world crashing around me and that's not a chance I really wanted to take. It scares me how just a simple word can cause hysteria and even tragedy. Then again a lot of things scare me lately.

I just couldn't wait the two weeks until I would be headed to my music retreat. My parents signed me up to go to this young adults music thing before they died and I was thankful I still get to go. Maybe someone will discover me and I'll never have to be burden on anyone every again. Music was one of the only things that didn't terrify me anymore. The other thing was Michael.

>>>>

Opposites attract right?

I loved writing this chapter like a lot lol

How do you guys feel so far? Next chapter will be a little longer and cover some more things lol

Keep up the feedback

Until I update again :)