Reaction || Malum ||

12

Warning: triggering chapter and it's sad so I apologize.

"Calum open the door." I begged but there was no answer. My hands wiggled the door knob but it wasn't budging. I felt powerless, if Calum hurt himself I would never be able to live with myself. This was probably my fault and I never should have let him out of my sight.

"Calum please." I said but my voice failed me and cracked. The door still remained locked in front of me and I was becoming a pacing mess. My hands tugged at my hair, hard. I couldn't lose Calum now, not a chance.

I knocked a few more times but to no avail. I wiggled the doorknob again but again it wasn't moving at all. Damn it! Finally I decided I had to get in there no matter the cost. I readied my body and slammed it against the wood to break it open. I flew into the large bathroom in search of Calum only to find him in the bathtub. His body was wet and shaking but he still had all his clothes on. His face was stained with tears and his lips were full and pouting, he was a mess. I ran over to the tub and knelt down with my hands gripping the porcelain. I was shaking and my heart was pounding against my ribs. I was thankful Calum was okay but I didn't want to find him like this.

"Calum." I whispered and his eyes screwed shut with a small sob escaping his lips. I reached out a hand to push his soaked hair off of his face and his hand landed on top of mine. It was covered in blood from his wrists but he held it firmly against mine to his forehead.

"I'm sorry Mikey." He whimpered and I felt tears welling up in my own eyes. He shouldn't be sorry for this, I just had to clean him up again. I hated that he did this to himself and I couldn't prevent it. He finally pulled his hand away from mine and it fell down against his chest. Calum's eyes shut again and his head rolled to the side. No, no Calum can't die.

"Calum, Calum wake up." I shook him but he didn't wake up. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks as my shaking hands touched every inch of Calum's unconscious body but he wasn't waking up.

I had to get him to the hospital. It was only about five minutes away and I could take him. My numb arms scooped Calum's limp body into my arms with his head falling against my chest. He was a lot lighter than I had anticipated, then again I don't think he ever eats. With a soaking Calum still in my arms I hurried down the stairs and laid him in the front seat of my car. He started to wake up a little bit on the way and I kept one hand wrapped around his the entire way. It was raining by the time we got to the hospital and I scooped him up again and took of running towards the door.

"Please help my friend needs help." I shouted and a nurse saw me from inside. She ran out with a few other people and a gurney to lie Calum down on. They rolled him away from me while I continued to stand in the downpour outside.

My whole body was soaked and I had Calum's blood on my hands and shirt. The rain wasn't enough to wash away the pain I was feeling in this very moment. I couldn't tell if the wetness on my face was from the rain or my tears but it continued. I ran a shaking hand through my hair and carried my soaked self inside. I slumped into a hard chair to await news on Calum. A few people looked at me funny because I was soaked and covered in blood but I didn't care what they thought about me, I only cared about Calum.

I hated waiting. Patience was definitely not a virtue for me it was more like a curse. My god Calum probably died and they don't know how to tell me. Another fresh wave of sobs took me over and I buried my head in my hands. I hate to wait.

I left a message on Luke's voicemail for him to come here but I didn't leave a reason why. I didn't have a for sure reason why I was here. Calum tried to kill himself and it was my fault. He's so fragile and I should've known.

"Mikey?" I heard Luke's voice from in front of me and my head snapped up from the floor to look at my concerned best friend. I stumbled from the chair and wrapped myself against Luke. In the hours I have been waiting, I ran out of tears.