Reaction || Malum ||

25

Calum's POV

To watch your world shatter around you is painful but to watch someone else's world shatter, because of you, is even worse. I just stood by and watched Michael's whole life be ripped out from under him and I did nothing. I let his dad kick him out when I should've stepped and been the one to go. Michael finally fell asleep a couple hours ago in the early morning hours but I couldn't make sleep find me. I've never seen him so upset, so shut down, so... Quiet. He's barely spoken a word to me since we left his house, not that I blame him. Maybe I should just go, do Michael some sort of favor and get out of his life for good, but he's all I have now. Guilt is eating at my chest like vultures on a carcass and I just keep swallowing down the pain.

I made myself leave the bed and shower to alleviate some of the stiffness in my heart but it didn't help much. My bare feet patted down the hallway until I reached the kitchen to make myself some tea, or coffee whatever I could find. The apartment is bigger and nicer than I expected but somehow it feels made for Michael and I. With the money my parents left me I could keep us living here for a while plus I'd get a job for extra money, anything to keep a roof over Michael's head. Since I walked through the living room I've been thinking about just walking out the door and never looking back but I do know a little better than that.

A tea kettle was already sitting next to the stove so I filled it with water from the sink to place it over the fire. I felt my way around the kitchen searching for things, opening cabinets and drawers just to see where everything was. Nothing is familiar anymore. It's like I keep going from place to place fucking everything up, when does it end? The whistling of the kettle startled me from my thoughts and I gathered myself quickly so could pour the hot water into the mug I had waiting. When I picked up my mug to turn around, a sleep Michael was stumbling towards the kitchen. He was rubbing his eyes and it was impossible for me not to smile sadly at the perfectly misunderstood human being in front of me.

I think people saw Michael and thought he was intimidating, I know I did. When he walked in his house the first day to see me on his lounge, I thought he'd hate me. Then he kept trying to get close to me and make me talk and I knew he was just a fun loving lad. He meant no harm to anyone and he's always willing to drop everything just to help. He may look tough on the outside but inside Michael was one of the most beautiful people I've ever known.

"I was hoping last night was all a dream." He mumbled as he moved past me and towards the tea kettle. I stood frozen as he pour himself a mug and turned back to me with sad eyes. He had tucked his fading hair under a beanie and put on his huge sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. He looked comfortable and I wondered why he even bothered getting out of bed today, I wouldn't have.

"Why are you dressed already?" I asked and Michael's face softened only slightly.

"It's 11:30 Cal." He said slowly. His voice was different, it sounded weak and broken. Michael's voice has always been strong and powerful so it was heartbreaking to hear him so down.

"Right." I said dragging out the word awkwardly.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me Calum, I've always wanted to get out of that house anyway." He shrugged as he hopped up to sit on the kitchen counter.

"But not like that." I whispered and Michael surprised me by chuckling. It was a soft and tired sound but at least it was some sort of emotion.

"Nope, not like that. But this is okay Calum, at least we are together and don't have to hide." He said sternly, looking into my eyes with his burning green eyes.

"True." I said quietly and looked down at my tea. When I looked back up Michael was standing in front of me and before I could react, his arms were hugging me tightly. I let my own hands clasp behind his back and held him like I had last night.