Reaction || Malum ||

32

Calum's POV

Life has returned to normal for Michael and I. Whatever normal is. Is normality even achievable especially when it comes to me and Michael. He's been home from the hospital for a couple of days and I think he's just about to go stir crazy. Our apartment looks like a tornado tore through it and every day when I come home Michael is in the same spot asleep on the sofa. I wish there was something I could do about it. He's not allowed to go back to work for at least a week because of his stomach but he never feels good enough to go anywhere. I on the other hand have been working like crazy which means I have to leave Michael all alone, which I hate to do. Dr. Reynolds warned me that Michael could become depressed so it was up to me to make sure he didn't. I thought maybe tonight I could take him out to do something. On the bus I was reading a local newspaper to see what kind of things were happening in town tonight.

It was difficult to read with the bumps and motions of the bus but I did my best. My eyes finally skimmed over a small announcement for a club. It said tonight there was a battle of the bands and it promised to be a good show. Michael would love that! He's a sucker for live bands and some music could really do him some good I think. I smiled to myself and folded up the newspaper to shove it in my small backpack that I take with me to work. Weird probably but I always keep a book with me in it just in case things at work get slow. I've been borrowing books from Michael ever since the accident. So far I've read about 5 books by now.

The first time I went back to the apartment by myself while Michael was in the hospital, I cried on the bed for the majority of the time. I fought a war within myself that afternoon. The empty bed where Michael slept was so cold and unforgiving and I got up a million times to get my blade but I just couldn't do it. Somehow I ended up in the library and picked out a beautiful book to get lost in. It's so understandable why Michael has such an infatuation with books. They are a great escape from reality. I've been addicted since I cracked the cover on Romeo and Juliet to find a world much better than here.

My fingers flip the page on the book but my reading is halted when the noisy bus screeches to a stop. I glanced out the window to see familiar scenery and gathered my stuff to get off. I shoved the book into my bag, slinging it over my shoulder. A soothing air washed over me the second my shoes made contact with the sidewalk, making me breath in to fill my lungs with the beautiful air. Things are simple but I like it. I may not be the happiest with myself but I am happy with the way life is working itself out.

No, things are not perfect but maybe they don't have to be. They will never be perfect but I'm accepting that my life with Michael is my own little slice of perfection. When I realized what I felt for him, I felt more comfortable with having a life with him. Do I think I'm good enough for him? Hell no, but I can try. He's good enough for me and how am I supposed to throw that away? I can't.

It was so stupid of me to think that leaving is what was best for the two of us because it wasn't. I mean obviously. I'm still coping with that guilt but it's slowly subsiding. For now I've found my silver lining and I'm taking it for all it's worth.

I walked on to our apartment, pausing outside of the door to dig for my keys. Once they were located I shoved the correct one into the lock and turned it. Loud music hit me as soon as I pushed the door open and I was again met with a messy apartment but today was different. There was music playing and Michael was singing along, not asleep on the couch like he usually is. I dropped my bag to the floor, sat my keys on the table and kicked off my shoes before I let Michael know I was home. Just as I was about to go towards the hallway, the music cut off making me stop for a moment. When I started to walk again Michael's head poked out from around the wall.

"Cal! You're home!" He chirped but refused to come around the corner. I noticed he had a towel wrapped on his head which was a little odd.

"Hey Mikey, what's on your head?" I asked and he smirked before running back down the hallway and shutting the bathroom door behind him. What the hell? I slowly walked to the door to hear the blow dryer going and knocked a couple times despite the obnoxious noise.