Reaction || Malum ||

38

Calum's POV
With every ounce of a good day there comes ten ounces of bad. Michael keeps asking me if I'm okay like I have a sign on my forehead or something. I don't know why I feel this way today, I even took my medicine. My body is achy and I have a pounding headache, maybe I'm catching something. Whatever it is, I wish it would go away. Michael's hand is resting on my back as we move through the market in search of something to make for our last dinner here. I must admit that these two days alone with Michael have been amazing. He's been so attentive, and all we've done is have sex and cuddle in bed the majority of the day. I'm not even sorry for saying that either.

"I feel like all we do is go to the market." Michael chuckled as we turned down an aisle. I nodded and he looked at me a little concerned. "Are you okay? You've been quiet all day." He said picking up a box of pasta.

"Yeah." I mumbled very quietly.

"What do you want me to make you for dinner? I want our last night to be special." He smiled and I attempted to return one. I didn't really feel like eating much of anything today.

"I don't know." I shrugged and observed the tile beneath my feet.

"Okay Cal, what's wrong?" He asked to turned to me with a serious face now. It's hard to say what's wrong when I'm not really sure myself, just a bad mental day.

"I don't know I just feel shitty today." I answered a little snippier than I intended. Michael looked a little wounded at first but recovered quickly.

"Are you sick?" he asked, pressing his palm to my forehead. "You don't feel warm." He said and I had no choice but to chuckle at him.

"I just mentally don't feel good." I said and Michael went back to looking at pastas.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked staring at me with his big green eyes. If he only knew how much he did by just being here.

Sometimes we don't need to hear the right words but ultimately we need someone to just be there in case we do. A simple smile from Michael makes me feel just a little better even on days like today when I don't quite know what I need. I just feel stuck I guess. Like maybe that I'm just a mess still. I just suppose I will always be a mess. I've been thinking a lot about getting help lately. One day while Michael was at work, I looked up rehab facilities. Not the major ones but the ones that offer extra help to people like me, struggling through life. Michael finally decided on a box of dry noodles, tossing them in the basket before moving on down the aisle. I hung back a little while I watched Michael walk away from me.

A thousand thoughts were present as I watched Michael leave me. I didn't want to separate from what we have now but there was a possibility I might have to. I shook my head to escape those thoughts and I was able to laugh softly. This wasn't happening any time soon and when that time comes, I'll make sure that Michael is in understanding of what I need to do. I hurried up to him and gripped his hand in mine. His eyes looked into mine and he smiled his goofy smile.

"Thanks Mikey." my words were small but Michael squeezed my hand in acknowledgment.

We didn't spend much longer in the store until we were checked out and ready to head back to the house. We stuffed the bags of groceries into the trunk of Michael's car before climbing into our respective seats. The ride was still in silence but there couldn't have been a more comfortable silence. Michael's hand somehow found its way to my thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb.

"You know there is a whole cellar of wine back at the house." He smirked and I shook my head.

"You sure do love to wine and dine me." I teased and michael continued to smirk.