Not A Mistake ~ Tom Hiddleston

O13 ~ Shock

You've had unprotected sex with Tom before. Multiple times even but you had always calculated after the sex when your period was due. A few of the times you were in the clear and in some cases you had to take a morning after. But mostly you have used a condom.

You take a look at your diary. You should have had your period a little more than a week ago. Did you miscalculate or did you forget about it all along? You're starting to feel nervous. What if? No, you'll have your period in a few days. Nothing is wrong! It's just late.

But no matter how much you're trying to tell yourself that, it's not really working. So you decide to go towards the nearest drugstore and buy yourself a pregnancy test. You want to tell the cashier, who is looking at you with judgmental eyes or at least it feels like it, that it's not yours but for a friend but you can't. You just keep quiet, softly smile at the woman and pay for the test. You don't know why you feel so nervous to buy a test like this. After all, you're not a minor anymore and people your age are starting to get children. But because there is a possibility that you are pregnant now, without marriage and without even dating the guy. It just feels so wrong.

Back home you sit down onto your couch, the pregnancy test on the coffee table in front of you. You hold your cup with tea tightly in your hands, the heat almost burning your hand but you don't notice because of the nerves and stress that are coursing through your body. You don't want to take it because you want to be wrong about this. You don't want a baby that isn't planned. That's not fair towards the child. The horror that will be in your parents eyes are already burning in your soul. It's the furthest away from the way they have raised you. But what if you're really pregnant? You don't want it to feel unloved. No, he or she would never be an outcast and would never get the blame of being a mistake. Right?

'Take it! Just take it..' Your mind says and you decide to listen to it. You unpack the test and make your way towards the bathroom. With a sigh you take the test. What are you going to tell Tom if it says positive? Would he end it? Would he run away and never speak to you again?

You place the cap back on the test before taking it back towards the living room where you once again take a seat onto the couch. With folded hands you stare at the test after setting an alarm for two minutes. No, you don't dare to look at it so you just close your eyes and think about the things you like the most. Where did you get yourself into? Tom isn't waiting for his fling to be pregnant. Besides, what would the press do if they find out? Better yet, when they find out? You can already see the headlines of the newspapers: Tom Hiddleston knocks up 18 years younger fling! Oh, the scandal that would unfold out of that.
You don't want to put Tom through that but then again, he deserves to know about the possible baby.
The alarm lets you snap out of your thoughts and shakily you lean forward to look at the result. 'Oh no.' A gasp leaves your lips while your eyes widen. Positive. The test result is positive. That means you're pregnant. So that means it isn't a possible baby anymore. It's an actual baby.
'Oh my god..' You breathe out as you get both hands through your hair while staring at the wall in front of you. This is happening.. This is really happening.

You're now facing a big decision. Are you going to tell him the truth or walk away from him and never return? You're scared he'll leave you once you tell him although you don't think he's that kind of person.. It's just a big deal what's going on right now and it is everything except planned. You're afraid that he will think he's stuck with you. But is running away the best solution? And denying him of this will only cause more trouble.. He will hate you for it but then again, what if he hates you for telling him?
What are you going to do now?

You keep the test to show Tom once you have gathered some nerve to tell him. Your mind keeps telling you that he isn't going to be pleased with the news so what about staying low for a few days? Perhaps a few weeks? No contact whatsoever. Just you and the baby. He's not going to like that either but you need time to think about this.. What is it that you want to do now that you know you're expecting? Do you keep it? Do you give it up for adoption? Will you remove it? It's probably only a few weeks old you think.. It could still be an option.
But you don't know yet. You don't know what the right call is. Abortion is not your favourite option but it could work if you want to hide it for Tom or worse, your parents. But then again, abortion is kind of murder. You're in a split and right now, you can't do anything about that. You just need some alone time and get back on your feet because this whole thing is too overwhelming.

You softly lie down onto your bed. Here it happened.. You made a baby right here. Ah, just stop thinking about it already! You fold your hands over your face as you feel tears burning in your eyes. Why is this happening to you? You don't care that it's Tom Hiddleston's baby! You're way past the fan phase now.. This is the real deal!