Clickbait, baby (david dobrik)

chapter thirty-one;

"Ryan.." I said, looking at him in disbelief. What are the odds?

"How are you doing?" He asked, leaning against the bar.

I gestured to my drink before tipping my head back and taking a large swig of it. "Life is grand," I said with an eye roll.

"Can I sit?" Ryan said, gesturing to the bar stool next to me. I eyed him a moment before I nodded. He sat down and stared ahead of him at the photos above the bar.

"You still doing photography?" I asked.

He nodded. "It's been my lifeline."

"What do you mean?"

He turned to me. "After everything that went down with us, I was a wreck, obviously. I had went far down the wrong path. When you filed the restraining order it opened my eyes up to how awful I had been. So, I got clean and I rediscovered photography. It really helped me."

I nodded with a small smile. "Well, that's wonderful, Ryan. I'm glad you're happy."

He nodded. "What about you?"

"Still dancing. I have a big audition in a few days."

"Oh really? Well, I know you'll get it."

I smiled before taking another sip of my drink. "Well, I think I'm gonna head out."

"No, come on. Why don't you stay?" He asked.

I finished my drink and began to stand up, when Ryan's hand grabbed my arm. It made me stiff all over and I looked up at him. The look in his eyes screamed bad intentions. I pulled my arm away and stood up.

"Bye Ryan."

And with that I was out the door.

I couldn't stop thinking about the look on David's face when he pulled away from our kiss earlier today. He seemed so disgusted with himself.. for kissing me. And then I think about the way that Peter acted so cold to me. Like we were never even friends.

All of this is why I ended up at the bar, and then I see Ryan of all people. And even though he seems to be doing well, I could see those same possessive qualities in him. He's gonna need a lot more time before he can stop being that way if he ever does.

Then, I think about the look on Heath's face at the party as he tells me that I can't catch a break. It's a look from the outside. He confesses his feelings to me and I just ignore them and he is still such a wonderful friend to me that it hurts.

Why do I hurt all the people who care about me? Why was I attracted to someone that hurt me? Why do I keep putting myself in a situation that I get hurt?

I hurry home and I shut the door to our apartment. All of these thoughts and that little bit of alcohol probably caused this, but I just start sobbing. My back slides down the door until I hit the floor. And I just sit there and cry.

After crying for a while, I take a shower and I lay in bed. All I can think about it David. I feel guilty about Peter and Heath, don't get me wrong.

But I'm in love with David.

I sit up suddenly. You know what? If he can just show up at my house to apologize, then so can I. I throw a sweater on and I'm out the door. I get in my car and I wipe my face off in my mirror from the tears that still continue to flow.

I drive and drive until I finally get to David's house. I check my face in the mirror and despite everything, I smile. I can do this. I'm gonna get him back.

I walk slowly up to his door. I can feel my nerves in my whole body. I shake my arms and close my eyes and take slow, deep breaths. "I got this," I whisper to myself.

I knock, but no one comes. I turn the door knob, and it's already open so I make my way inside. "David?" I ask tentatively.

I do see him in the living room, and as I make my way to the kitchen, I notice that he isn't there either. "David?" I ask again as I get to the stairs. I walk up the stairs and I think I hear something. Is that.. music? It was a song by Russ maybe?

I furrowed my eyebrows as I get closer to his room. The door is almost shut, but not quite. Then I think I hear.. moans?

As I creep up to his door, I feel like I'm going to throw up. I peek into the dimly lit room and I see someone under David.. and he's kissing her.

They suddenly roll over so she's on top.

My jaw drops and I run out of the house and to my car.  I sit there in the car breathing in and out heavily. I set my forehead on the steering wheel.

I start to cry again. "How could he be with her? How could he ever be with her?"