To the Stars

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Alexander walked through the door to his apartment, smiling softly. The prospect of John finally safe gave him hope, and he longed to be back with him.

When John heard the door shut, he ran out of their bedroom and immediately rushed to Alexander, rather uncharacteristic of him to rush. Alexander's expression flipped rapidly to worry.

"Hey, what happened, what's wro-"

John cut him off with a harsh kiss, grabbing at his shirt like they could not be close enough. Alexander returned it, holding it for a long moment before breaking away. Their breathing heavy, he pulled John to his chest as he continued questioning.

"What happened?"

John shut his eyes and grabbed at him tighter. "I love you,"

Alexander studied John's shaking breaths. "I love you too, please tell me what's going on. Is it the new meds? Did you have thoughts again? You should be calling me more, really,"

"I'm fine, the meds are fine. I love you,"

Alexander rubbed his back, subtly searching for new wounds. Maybe John's father had found him...

"I know what you're doing. He didn't come back. God, I love you,"

Alexander slid his hands to John's waist. "I love you too, I love you so much, are you sick? You seem a little warm,"

John chuckled. "No. I just need you right now,"

"Do you want to go to bed?"

John kissed his clothed chest, making Alexander blush. "No, you'll leave me when I fall asleep,"

"I won't leave you. Come on, please,"

John finally consented and Alexander lead him to the bedroom, lying down with Alexander curled around John's weakened body.

"You know that you call me when you have suicidal thoughts, right? I don't want you to ever attempt again, I'll be home as soon as you call me,"

John slipped his hands under Alexander's shirt, loving the warmth that filled his hands. "It's not that,"

Alexander took his shirt off, letting John have full access to him. "Then what is it?"

"I, um, I might have had a panic attack. I woke up from this nightmare where I had to watch you die," John's voice trailed off.

Alexander pinned John's shoulders to the bed. "You should've called me,"

"I'm not sorry. You don't need to leave work every time I get scared,"

"I need to help you,"

"I'll be fine. Just...please," John leaned up and hooked an arm over Alexander's shoulder, pulling him back down.

And Alexander understood. And he held his boy, swearing that this was how they'd live until they could fly to the stars.

AN: a short one for you. I'm releasing a whole completed story before the end of June called Cigarette Boy, it is by far my best work and I look forward to it. It's a Lams college au like you've never seen it before ;) get hype

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