Glory is for Another Day // Lams Oneshots

Literally Just Pure Fluff

AN: hi guys! Recovering from emotional trauma is hard! Check out my newer stories to see that I have, in fact, not died!

Alexander woke up in the middle of the night. The surprisingly large tent (able to hold six bed rolls and only being used for four) was blocked from his view by a figure kneeling beside him. He blinked quickly, then relaxed again as he saw it was John.

"What's wrong?" He murmured.

John glanced around himself nervously. "I...I can't sleep. Can I sleep near you?"

Alexander nodded, a small smile on his face, as he moved aside so John could lay down. John laid so he was facing Alex but shut his eyes tightly, and every muscle in his body was tense as he stayed on the edge of the mat.

Alexander hook an arm around his torso and pulled him up against his chest, simultaneously throwing the blanket over him as well.

John peeked up at him. "You dont have to do that,"

Alexander curled around him a bit. "I hate to see you cold,"

John closed his eyes again and settled to Alexander's form. "It's not that cold,"

"You are shivering and I can feel it. You need to be keeping yourself warm, Jacky." He looked down at the other man seriously. "Do you make yourself stay cold cause it hurts?"

John squirmed a little. "I, um, no, what would-"

"John, that's not healthy. I thought you said you didn't usually want to self harm anymore? That's what that is, you know that, right?"

John sighed and started to push away a bit. "I said it for the rest of them. I said it for you. You don't need to worry about me,"

Alexander grabbed John's elbows and held him from leaving. He met his eyes directly. "You are my friend. It is my job to take care of you when you can't take care of yourself. It's bigger than anything else I do on this earth. Yes, I most certainly need to worry about you."

He pulled John carefully back towards him.

"I am going to keep you warm,"

AN: I like suddenly switch verb tenses here and I'm really sorry about that but I broke up with my gf while writing this and I'm super tired and I can't really think.

John shakes a little and it takes a moment for Alexander to realize that John is crying.

"Hey, hey," He frantically wipes John's tears. "Don't cry!"

John stops Alexander's hand and does his best to crack a smile. "I've just never heard something like that. Thank you. And I'm fine,"

John rolls over, seeming natural, but Alexander can see the little twitches of his muscles as he continues to cry silently. Alexander puts a hand on his back and John flinches hard.

"Shh. It's alright to be 'not fine,' you know?" Alexander whispers.

John goes almost limp and suddenly the sobs that wrack his body are much more visible. Alexander lifts both his hands and starts to massage his back, kneading it gently until the man's shaking subsides. When John has calmed down substantially, Alexander rubs his back and sides, prompting John to get the urge to just kill him with kisses.

"Mm...c-cut it ou-out,"

Alexander slows but doesn't stop. "Why?"

"Cause it..."

"Hmm?"

"Cause you're making me feel...things,"

Alexander starts massaging his shoulders again and John almost groans in sudden pleasure. He wants Alexander as close as possible, he wants to be up against him, he wants to kiss him until he loses himself.

"What kind of things, John?"

John struggles to even stay still. "You'd best leave it. You won't like the answer. You wouldn't even like me if I said it."

Alexander leans closer. "I'll always like you,"

And John cracks. "A feeling in my chest that is begging for you to be closer. And hold me. And talk to me. And k-kiss me,"

Alexander rolls him over and pulls him tightly against himself before pinning him downing gently. "I don't see why I wouldn't like you after that,"

Alexander leans down and kisses him while John grabs desperately at Alexander's shirt. Alexander makes the kids more passionate before finally pulling away, leaving John to grab at every piece of Alexander's bare skin.

"John, calm down. Now talk to me. Tell me everything,"

John gasps for breath. "I feel so broken. Just shattered. I want someone, anyone, to just be there but it seems like there never is. I still self harm. I do it all the time. I still fight the urge to cry at every waking moment. I'm still dying. And I still want you so bad," John is in tears by the end, holding dearly to Alexander's collar.

Alexander trails kisses up John's neck and across his face. "It's okay, it's okay, you have me now. I'm yours. I'm all yours."

John wraps his arms around Alexander's neck and Alexander lowers himself back beside John. John curls himself into Alexander's chest and cries like he's been holding it in for weeks, which he probably has. Alexander holds him so tightly, it's as if his life depends on it.

"John, you have to calm your crying. You'll make yourself sick, baby,"

John slows himself to a heaving chest and tear stains. "I need you,"

"Shh," Alexander wraps John in a protective grip, holding him away from the world and saving him from the biting cold. "It'll be alright. It really will. You've got me for whatever you want. And I think you need some sleep."

John kisses Alexander's chest through the thin fabric, still holding to him tightly. Alexander, though, holds him even tighter and kisses his hot forehead. Alexander figures that John must have a fever and tucks the blanket around him to hold in warmth.

John falls asleep peacefully with Alexander holding him. And Alexander waits a long while to assure that John is really in deep sleep before drifting off himself.

•••

Alexander awakes to sounds of whispering from the other side of the tent and Alexander adds his own whisper, noticing John is still pressed against his body:

"If you two wake him up, you can expect death."

The whispering stops after that.

AN: I am absolutely delirious right now and I'm sorry that this is probably shit. I might try to make amends in the morning. But I am so so tired, I think I fucked up and pushed myself past the limits here. Goodnight. Lots of love. Save my soul.

-AX