sunrise | gd

gone

two weeks later
charlys pov

ive been living with Grayson and his mom for about two weeks now. they've been super sweet to me all this time and I appreciate them being in my life so so much.

im lucky to have met him. i really am. and I'm lucky that he's told me he would be there every step of the way.

even though everything may seem fine to them. it's not.

i feel like a weight on their shoulders. i feel out of place in this house. poor lisa, graysons mom is always looking after me when she shouldn't be.

i feel like im making her do all this work for me and I hate it. I don't want her to feel bad for me, yet she does.

im holding them both back with this fucking baby.

if I wasn't pregnant, Grayson could have moved on with his life and actually enjoyed without having to feel like a fucking adult all the time.

he's eighteen. he shouldn't be tied down to me.

my mind was racing with negative thoughts. i couldn't stop it no matter how much I tried.

it's past two in the morning, everyone's wide asleep but here's me. going crazy in my own thoughts.

i quietly crawl out of graysons sheets and walk downstairs to the kitchen.

my hands scanned every single drawer in the kitchen, until I finally opened one full of pills. i grabbed as many as I could and swallowed them.

I don't know what I'm thinking. but I don't want to live anymore. I'm done.

Then I quietly made my way back to graysons room and laid silently in his bed next to him. I wrapped my arm around his bare back as he slept sound facing away from me.

if there's one thing I want to do before I die, is to embrace the man I'm in love with. I might not be able to tell him how much I love him, but I just.... i just need to be close to him.

my heart started racing at the thought of me leaving this world. I was gifted a life, a life in this beautiful world. But I failed to acknowledge the beauty.

I paid attention to the negative energy and let it get the best of me.

"Grayson, GRAYSON" i yelled shaking him violently.

"what's wrong charly" he woke up panicked.

"I- I overdosed on pills, plea-please" was all I managed to get out as tears started to choke me.

Grayson started to freak out. I've never seen him like this.

Maybe he does care. I don't know.

he dialed the ambulance number and before I knew it, the loud sirens were going off outside the house.

As I lay in his bed, he stroked my hair telling me it would be okay. Telling me that I could never leave him.

"I need you charly, please don't go" he pleaded, once again crying in front of me.

the red and blue lights of the ambulance outside the house, came into the room through the window. however they were blurry because of the tears in my eyes.

my head started spinning, and then all I remember is everything gone. black. emptiness.

>

"im so sorry mr Dolan, but you have lost the child" i heard the doctor say to Grayson.

My eyes slowly fluttered opened, my vision slightly dark and blurry.

He was here. Sitting in the hospital room as I lay on the hospital bed. Lisa was here too, sitting right next to Grayson.

my baby. it's gone.

I killed our child.
I'm a murderer. I'm a monster.

"Gra-Grayson" I stuttered catching everyone's attention.

"I'll let you guys catch up" the doctor said before leaving Grayson, Lisa and I in the room alone.

I guess I didn't die. They saved me. I deserve to though, look what I've done.

As if life itself wasn't messy enough, I've made it worse.

"im sorry" was all I was able to mumble out.

"im just thankful you're okay charly" he spoke coming closer. He sat on the side of the bed, I watched as he pushed a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear.

after that, we didn't speak about the baby whatsoever. i killed his happiness.

And I'll never be able to live with myself knowing I did that. I'm a horrible person. A horrible mother. I couldn't even become a proper mother. I ruined the chance before it even began.

I hate myself for it. For everything.

>
same morning
5 am

it's okay to walk out of someone's life if you feel like you don't belong in it anymore. right?

because I don't feel like I belong in graysons life anymore. He doesn't deserve someone as problematic as me. he needs someone who can truly make him happy.

i do. i just want to make this hot the happiest he's ever been. but I fail each time I try. im a failure.

we came back from the hospital and Grayson and I laid back into his warm sheets. he cuddled me and held me close, as if he never wanted to let go.

but I can't anymore. im just in such a bad state of mind, I don't want to bring him any more distress.

I need a break. a getaway from everything. and I really do need to get away. far far away from here.

i slowly untangled myself from his cozy embrace and packed my very few clothes and everything else in my suitcase.

i guess I still made too much noise because he woke up.

"charly? what are you doing?" he spoke in his raspy morning voice.

oh shit.
___

things are going to happen my babes!! keep voting if you want me to continue the story <3
love you