The White Tulip (Symbolism Of My Feelings)

L, You're Strange...

Honey

As usual, I got up, brushed my teeth, dressed up, had breakfast and went to school. I got to school twenty minutes before the first lessons started (my earliest arrival), so I decided to walk around the building since I didn't get the chance to observe the entire place. I was thinking about yesterday evening. L's ideal type of girl is cute and with curly hair. I'm definitely not his type. I have straight hair like pasta. Whenever I try to curl my hair, it ends up upright again. I really wished my hair was a bit wavy like my aunt's. Another thing is I cannot act sweetly. It just turns out really silly and awkward. I made an attempt to show my cute side to my friends but they disapproved it. I wonder what charms I possess if cuteness is not my thing. I used to have sexy emission but I think I have lost it on the way to my new lifestyle.

I was about to go into the classroom when I saw L hugging a girl. I hid behind the lockers (Déjà vu). I could see his face clearly; he was mouthing incoherent words to the person I didn't know. The female didn't respond but continued embracing him. I felt my chest tightening and I thought that my heart was broken.

Wait... Snap out of it, Kim Honey! He doesn't like you. You, too... right?

I heard walking footsteps getting further and further. When I glanced to see if they were there, I saw nobody. I rushed to the classroom, no one was there. I approached my usual seat. I started drawing and listening to music on my phone. A student after another came. Eventually, Hyuna and her girl friends arrived as they were talking about the most fashionable dresses this season. Everybody was present except L. Chatting and laughter was filled in the room and I, quietly and blankly, kept doodling. Before the bell rang, L entered the room. Screaming girls were around him. The teacher came and we all went to our seats. L didn't even greet me and look at me. Yesterday he acted differently. I was confused. Usually, he would notice me.

''Hey.'' I waved but there was no response. What has gotten into him? Did I do something? ''Are you all ri-?''

''Cut it out.'' He snapped back and eyed me angrily.

I was taken aback by his retort. He has a bad day. I told myself and I decided not to bother him anymore.

''Class, sit down. Now...'' The teacher said.

As always I didn't listen to the teacher. I just stared at the board aimlessly. I stayed like that a while until a certain someone poked me.

''Hey, can you pass this to Hyuna?'' L held a folded paper. I saw thin, black rows which meant it was from his notebook

Look, pal! I'm not a delivery girl so that you can use me!

''Do it yourself,'' I muttered.

However, he still insisted. ''I want you to do it.''

''Why me?'' I raised my left eyebrow.

''Cuz you and Hyuna are on the left side of the desks.'' Why are you damn lazy, L?

''Give it to people in front of you and they'll pass it to her.'' I got annoyed.

And you know what? Instead of taking my advice, he put the paper in his pocket. I got pissed. Very very pissed that I wanted to push him from the desk. That guy is really incredible.

***

Now we had Art. The teacher let us draw anything we liked, to my luck. I hate when people give you particular tasks to do but I was very fortunate today to do what I wanted. I made a decision of drawing a girl a famous Japanese animation on the big rectangle canvas, to be exact Sakura from Naruto. L sat beside me and I didn't dare to look at his ''masterpiece''. The Art teacher came to check on me.

''Honey, you... draw fine but you can do better. This angle should be a little rounded-'' She snatched my pencils from my hand and began correcting my 'mistakes'. Her fake grin encouraged me to slap her but I put myself together. ''-and her hair should have more shadows on the top. Voila.'' The lecturer, without looking at me, placed the instruments on the round table with the rest beside me. I stood there in disbelief as she headed to another student.

''You can do better.'' Huh! What's that suppose to mean? Oh please, teacher. Like you understand the art of my drawing.

Absolutely furious about her deed, I grabbed one of the pencils again and continued with forming Sakura's body. That female has always made me feel frustrated. She may seem innocent and attractive (the whole male population goes after her whether they were students or colleagues) but I knew deeply she was just pretending. Even before discovering her true self with the help of my abilities, my instincts were one hundred percent right about her. She smokes, takes drugs and hook up with any kind of men. I noticed her a lot at pubs in the center totally stoned, hardly walking along the streets, almost got herself into accidents.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I care about that appalling woman. It's just that she always finds something 'wrong' in my creations to give disheartened comments about. I have never seen such act with the others. It was so unfair to be treated differently.

I used to be very outgoing and maybe too much flirty. My parents had warned to get rid of my habits but I didn't listen to them. Seeing Miss Choi as an ostentatious figure, made me recall the times I had been a fool. How did I turn into a whore? I am not going to be that girl I was before ever again.

''Wow, Myungsoo! You're the next Leonardo da Vinci. That's an A++ for you.'' I heard her annoying, squeaky voice nearby.

What's so amazing in his drawing? I took a look at it with irritation, at first, and my jaw immediately dropped. Everyone gathered around him and they were also amazed. It's really a copy of Mona Lisa. No detail was missed or added. Nothing was out of place. No color was dismissed. Everything was a divine invention. Our classmates started taking their phones out and took pictures of L's drawing. Everybody praised him and asked him how he created it so perfectly. The boy could only smile and told them it was a secret between him and the professionals. How cheesy he can go.

When the teacher shooed my classmates to their places, I stared at both of the picture and him.

''Oh God, that's awesome.'' I put my poker face on. I totally forgot that I was angry. ''Leonardo da Vinci would be proud of you if he was here.'' I blurted out.

He chuckled.

''Who do you think taught him to draw like this?''

Now I was puzzled and surprised. Did I get his question right?

''Didn't I tell you to call me oppa?''

I went back to my annoyed mode. ''No way.''

''What a disrespectful child.'' L stated.

''I am and I'm proud of it. ''

I expected him to tell me off but instead:

''You know what? Don't listen to the teacher. She can't let you down.''

I widened my eyes big like frying pans... without the handles.

''How did you know...''

''I just know.'' He shrugged his shoulders.

''You know my butt.'' I rolled my eyes.

''I actually really do... literally.''

My eyes widened again. ''What the...'' I made a disguised look.

''I was just joking.'' He laughed out loud. ''You should see your face. Such a derpina.'' Everyone stared at him with ''What happened?'' face. He stopped laughing and wipe the tears from his eyes. His expression changed into serious one. ''You promised to tell me about why you lived with your aunt but not with your parents and possibly siblings.''

Should I tell him since I promised him?