The White Tulip (Symbolism Of My Feelings)

What Did You Do, Kim Myungsoo?

Honey

If I disposed of lots of bottles of alcohol, I would have drunk it all without leaving even a single drop. So I could relieve the stress I had been rushing through my body. Unfortunately, auntie wasn't an alcohol consumer. She didn't keep even a bottle at home. Another option was making a fake ID and going to the near supermarket and buy some beverages. But this wasn't my style, nor it would ever be.

I left the picture of the woman's portrait on the desk and turned it upside down. It reminded me of L's house... if it was even his in real life. I swear if I found out that Infinite members did a prank on me, they were in a big trouble. The mansion left me with an awful impression, to tell you the truth. It gave me the creeps. I was still shivering from the happening back there. I endeavored not to remember it. But... I couldn't help wondering who the person that was following me was. If it was one of the members, I swear I'll kill him with my own bare hands. How could they frighten me like that?

The next day was one of those crazy days in school that always caught me off guard. It was even more shocking than the previous day and I wished someone stab me through my heart with a dagger. I would repay them with all my savings.

Did I mention I despise school? I did.

The fact that there wasn't much to do there is known to you. I was constantly reminded that I was all alone. Maybe I would be better if I bought a gun. To shoot myself. No need to hire somebody to grant my last wish of my lifetime.

I headed to the classroom, depressed. I hardly dragged myself to the familiar place. Dark circles were located under my eyes due to lack of sleep and nightmares of the isolated house. Someone would have thought I came out from 'The Walking Dead'. My so-called classmates backed away from me like I was a plague. This was nothing unusual. I found my seat and sat on the desk with a big thump in exhaustion. I began drawing aimlessly. I didn't know what I was doodling until somebody's voice awakened me.

''Geez, you and your white tulips. It makes me throw up.''

Now, who do you expect it to be? That ugly duckling Hyuna, of course! She interrupted my blank dream. I glared at her and looked at my drawing to see what I had done to annoy her so much. A field of white tulips which seemed to have no end. The sky was empty. Nothing was floating in the air. What mostly caught my eye was the figure among the white flowers... No... They were two... And one of them was chasing the other one...

''Class, stand up!'' The president of the class commanded. The students followed the order, with me falling a little behind. Apparently, he won't come today.

***

Ten minutes left after the break. I was strolling the corridors with an aim and was dreaming about random stuff. My life was getting worse I wanted to be engaged in something meaningful... like Arts club. However, not only would the students get away from me (usually, the activities in the club involve mainly teamwork and you know I cannot work with other people unless if they're my friends and L) but also I would feel miserable without a friend around.

I was about to enter the room when I saw someone I didn't expect to come. At the corner of my eye, the well-known youngest member of the group was walking towards the classroom without even glimpsing at me. His expressionless face conveyed his I-don't-give-a-damn attitude. He might have overslept since his hair did not seem combed but I couldn't say it was messy, either. Nonetheless, I blushed, after that, I shook my head. How could I think he was handsome right then? I reminded myself was mad at him. But as always he looked gorgeous. Even though boys don't usually wear pink, the color suited L perfectly. Added to it were white pants and black shoes. A big backpack was placed over one of the shoulders and he was holding the strap of it. Without taking another glance at the male, I stepped into the room. I paced only two steps and I already witnessed something unbelievable - L had already sat on his seat, reading a book and flipping pages from time to time! I headed back to the halls to see if I was dreaming. No soul was there. I furrowed my eyebrows. How did he manage to get inside without going through the door? I didn't bother to ask him, he would ignore me anyway. I situated myself next to my neighbor and took out my Physics' notebook and flipped to the last page so I could draw. Have you, guys, heard of Vocaloids? I was making portraits of two of them - Rin and Len. They're so cute!

I heard my classmates returning one by one. They were mumbling something about me and L again. Don't these people have other things to talk about?

Being a psychic was exhausting and confusing at the same time. Of course, it has its benefits but sometimes it would puzzle you until you lose your mind. And the worst part is many people gather around - so many auras to handle. Ever since my supernatural powers developed, more 'presence' came into my mind. I had headaches and it isn't fun like before. The only to distract myself from those thoughts, I plugged my earplugs into my LG phone and listened to music. I groaned under my breath when I realized I was listening to Infinite's songs. They made me recall a certain person who, ironically, was beside me. I clicked on the next song. 'Kiss Kiss' by Chris Brown. I sighed. How relaxing.

But my pleasure to music didn't last for long. The teacher entered and the students stood up and bowed. She dismissed us by motioning her hand down to sit.

''Students, before I start with the new lesson, I want you to prepare presentations I am going to assign to all of you. Each person is going to work with another student as a pair. Now, I am going to inform you the pairs and their assignments.''

Everyone groaned in annoyance after hearing the lecturer out but the woman didn't bother replying to their complaints.

When she started announcing which student with whom they are working with, I stared at my notebook and continued scratching again on my notebook. As the teacher said the names, I was listening to her intently. Some of my classmates were yelping in joy, others were pretty bothered by the lecturer's choice. My name was still not mentioned. Nor was L's. I hoped I wouldn't be assigned to him. Even if the schoolboys and schoolgirls hate me, I would still work with them, I would even do all the work if they wanted me to. As long as I was 'far' away from him. As long as I didn't communicate with him.

''Next pair: Kim Honey...''

I held my breath, having my fingers crossed.

Please, God, don't pair up me and L together.

Don't.

Don't.

Don't.

''...and Kim Myungsoo. Topic-''

Forget the f*cking topic. I was frustrated with my teacher for her dumb selection. Karma was a total slutty b*tch! Why is my life so cruel?!

But should I really blame the lecturer, though? She didn't know about the shaky relationship of L and I's.

Even though I was clenching my fists, I replied my teacher with a 'Yes.' L also answered her in approval. I didn't look at him. And I didn't intend to.

''Where will we do this presentation, at your house or mine?'' He questioned directly.

I didn't say anything. As he mentioned his place, I remembered his dark 'mansion'. Why did you have to make me remind?

''At mine, if you don't mind. Yours is...'' Suddenly, I was petrified. Uh oh. ''Umm...'' I hesitated. I didn't finish the sentence. Instead, I bit my lip and scratched the back of my head. I was such a moron for bringing up his house.

''What's wrong with it? It's not like you visited it... have you?''

I didn't shed a word. There was no way I was going to tell about his creepy place.

I stared at the teacher who was talking about something I couldn't quite understand, just to avoid replying to him.

''I'm asking you. Have you stopped by my place?'' L slowly repeated with a serious tone and a slight anger that I caught in his voice.

I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I raised my hand and had attempted to ask the teacher for her permission to go to the toilet...

Out of the blue, multiple thumps reached my ears.

In front of my eyes were people with their heads on the desks.

What could have caused such a chaos?

What shocked my that L told me something I couldn't believe...

It was...