The White Tulip (Symbolism Of My Feelings)

Goodbye Letter

Dear Honey-unnie,

You're probably wondering why I am writing a letter to you. But I am about to make you more baffled. I assume you already furrowed your eyebrows after reading the previous sentence like you always do when you see something odd and confusing.

I can finally announce what I will do in the future. It wasn't even a bit easy to make this decision but I've chosen a path you will find shocking.

Remember when I told you I had gone for work? I had been having a serious conversation with the Council of Fantasy World. According to the fantasy Codex, each ghost has a certain time rambling between the human's world and that of the souls. My time is narrowing every second. I had only one choice of my 'lifestyle': either I am going to be stuck between the two worlds or go to the other side. Sadly, there is no third option. Even if I wanted desperately to live as a teenager, I'm afraid I'd receive unpleasant reactions from the human beings and the vices of Fantasy World.

Both choices have their pros and cons. As I mentioned, it was very tough. Imagine me sweating from head to toe and the odor of the sweat was indescribable, in a bad way.

I think you know where this leads to. But I want to confirm your expectations.

I chose... the second option.

I should explain why I did it. It wouldn't be fair if I left you dumbfounded without any explanation. The world is already complicated and I will try to ease things a little.

I'd had these difficulties with being a ghost that you cannot even think of. Sure, having super powers is awesome. We've seen a lot of cartoons, movies and Japanese animations on this theme. I couldn't believe such creations existed until I witnessed everything happening to me. Every human being wished for a little magic in their life, yet they don't seem to believe in it at all. But I saw the creatures, the powers, another entirely different world with my own eyes and at first, I thought it was great. Using your abilities for achievements of your goal, what more you could want.

There's that big 'However' in every argument. Even if you possessed incredible powers, I'd think of it as cheating. My motto is 'Work hard for your dreams.' There would be no meaning if I use my superpowers for my needs. The things with the extraordinary... felt not in the right place as time passed. How come you get what you want without even moving a finger? A majority doesn't know how that works. Some stuff wasn't proper. I felt I have been living in a world full of infinite lies even more after the accident. It's better to live in wrong statements of the ordinary than to have supernatural getting involved on Earth. You can't be surprised by my reasons. I am a loyal and justified person and you know that. If I live in a fantasy world, I'll at least acknowledge that extraordinary things are something 'normal'.

In case you haven't understood what I wrote until now, I'm going to write down the following sentence with more simple words and shorter message. Not that I doubt you are a low-IQ chick or something. But jokes aside.

I'm leaving.

It's not like I want to split up with you.

Still, I am very sorry I suddenly abandoned you. It wasn't simple for me to get over the fact that I had to go. If there were moments when I made you feel bad or annoyed or I caused wrong, I apologize for my manners. But, as long as I remember, we were on good terms. I'll be missing you till eternity.

If you feel lonely, there are many people you can rely on. You have our auntie, your buddies Suzy-unnie and Sungjong-oppa, Mr. Park, the cab driver. And last but not least, Kim Myungsoo-oppa. The one who you should be grateful for since he saved your life; the person who makes you smile after the accident occurred and the guy who truly loves you. Don't blame him for not having saving Dad, Mom and me. We are happy that you survived. And don't lose him. That's a demand! There's also Infinite and maybe the girl who's auntie's ex's daughter. She is nice and hilarious.

Even if I am not going to be appearing in front of you, you have a lot of friendly people to be with. And if you sense some kind of presence around you, it'll probably be me. I never said I was going to leave you totally, what I wanted to say is that you won't ever see me again...

I have to thank you for a few occasions throughout my 'life' until now.

Thank you for being a funny and carefree individual who lead me to the path of freedom even for the tiniest bit and showing me everything I needed to learn.

Thank you for hearing out my problems, you always give me good pieces of advice and I've never been an ask hole as you see.

Thank you for becoming a reliable friend in need. You're one of my best friends and I never regretted any moment with you.

And the most important thing, thank you for being my older sister. Faith gave me a very decent big sister to communicate with.

You know, unnie, life is not bad after all.

So, this is goodbye. Forever.

I wish you the best and the fact that you don't separate from L-oppa. I'm going to think of you each nanosecond.

Your everlasting younger sister, Yuki

P.S. Oh God! I tried to fight back my tears but they still fell on this letter. I have no time to write another one. What a mess! I'm angry at myself.

Yuki

After Honey-unnie left the room for some snacks, both of L-oppa and I faced each other.

''L-oppa.'' I spoke first.

''Mm?'' He hummed, waiting patiently for what I was going to say.

''Promise you will do this for me,'' I said to him. I told him my last wish in his mind. I already knew his answer. But I felt insecure and I just had to be sure, just in case.

L smiled widely, revealing sincerity and a touch of determination added.

''I am born ready to do anything concerning your sister. For our sake.''

I nodded in approval. I trust him. Because he would protect his sister from any pitfall in their way. I am glad there was somebody by her side. L-oppa, having lived for hundreds of years so he could take care of my sister and her incarnations, is the most loyal person I had known in my life.

''I cannot thank you enough. There's nothing I can do than deliver you this small amount of thanks.'' Even though I saddened because of my departure inside, I didn't show my sentimental feelings.

''No need to thank me.'' He crossed his legs without stopping grinning. A genuine smile, indeed. ''It's been my duty since a long time ago.''

I nodded and sighed. Gosh. I would miss everything on Earth. I would forget everything I acknowledged. Heading to the River of Forgetfulness or anywhere else... It's painful.

''I will miss lots of things I experienced and saw. I will miss Infinite's music. All members as well.'' I confessed to L-oppa.

''Aw.'' He wrapped his arms around me and massaged my back. I returned his gesture. ''I will miss you, too. And even though my brothers don't know you, they would also say that they'd miss you.'' He loosened hug and back away slightly. ''I'll meet your next incarnation.''

''How are you going to recognize me? There's high chance I might look differently.'' I reminded him.

''There's always a way. I'll manage to recognize you after I recognized your older sister.'' He winked.

At the same time, Honey-unnie came inside with Lay's chips (her favorite snacks in the universe - I quote). We talked about random topics until it was time for me and L to go.

I guess this is a farewell. I will never forget you, unnie.