‘Some days I feel like I can do everything.
Other days I feel like I can’t do anything.
Every day I feel like…’
I sighed. “It’s pointless.”
I crumpled the paper and threw it into the bin.
It was the end of summer and school was about to start again. It would be the same as before. One year I will be bullied and become an outsider more and more. My classmates hated me.
Because they didn’t know what to think about me. Because I looked like a boy, because I acted like a boy, but was born as a girl; the first and biggest mistake in my life.
Why? Because I am a boy. A trans* boy.
I used to call myself Aiden, but my real name was Rachel, Rachel Pierce. I hated my parents for that. They just didn’t care.
It’s like I had never come out to them even though I had.
It just sucked.
I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I should be enjoying the rest of my vacation, but instead I was trying to order my thoughts.
I opened the drawer at my desk with a key I kept in my pocket and looked inside. They were still there, my razor blades. I starred at them and I felt like they were asking me ‘Shall we?’.
“I don’t know.” I whispered while a tear was rolling down my cheek.
I wiped it away and closed the drawer again. “Pointless.”
This had become my word of this summer. I should have counted how many times I said it. Probably very often, every day at least once.
I woke up every morning and thought about the pointlessness of the day, of everything.
Somehow I managed not to label my existence as pointless. I always told myself that I could be at least used as a bad example for a human being.
It wasn’t the best way, but it worked. And that was the point.
YOU ARE READING
Till we break
General Fiction[finished] I am Aiden. I am 16 years old. My life is a hell. They bully me. They hate me. I hate myself. I am self harming. I am a trans*boy. This is my story. I think I am going down... (This is the first story in the series, the second one is 'Ti...
