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It really is a hard thing to explain. The best way I can really explain it is that it feels exactly like |what I assume from what allo people write about how they experience crushes| a crush feels like, just without the need or desire for touchy-feely romantic shit. But even that doesn't work cause you know you have a crush because you want to do romance shit??
And it's even more confusing for me cuz my feelings don't stay still since I'm aroflux so one day the squish will feel one way, with some desires, and then the next day it's a completely different feeling with complete different desires??? Why am I like thisssss????????
