Camila | Rafinha Alcántara (ON A HEIST)

Querido, Mi Primer Hijo.

My first born...

Oh how much you taught me in 21 years. I gave you life in exchange of a even better life for me. All jokes aside, you were literally not planned. But that's an ugly saying and I've always said you came sooner than we expected. But I don't regret it. You've brought a lot of closure for your mother and I. You put some broken little pieces, back together for the better. When I first found out about you, I will be honest and say I was not as excited. You know, your mother being just 15, and me being 18, it was a conflict for her family and I just started my career right before. I didn't want to end my youth so soon and more so for your mother. But thanks to your tio, he knocked some sense into me and I realized it was time to be a man. I had many doubts in those 9 months you were in there. But the minute I saw you in that delivery room, it disappeared into dust. From there, is when I realized you were my own. I learned what love was like.

You and I had many firsts. We learned together and man did we have a lot to learn.. You learned how to talk as I learned how to change your diaper. You learned how to walk and immediately kick a ball, as I learned how to put you to sleep without the help of your mother. I learned how cook and feed you when your mother couldn't. After sleepless nights I learned how to calm you when you were sick up until you were 7. It was the toughest time for the both of us but we made it through. I taught you how to play futbol which was the only think I was very excited for. Waiting 5 years until I can put you on the team and waiting for you to become like me one day.

Although that did not happen, never believe that you were a failure. You never failed me as my son. If you ever feel like you failed something, remember you can always turn around and make a difference and and learn from it. Remember what I always told you. "Failure isn't the opposite of success. It's part of it." Mateo I'm not asking for you to go back to school or find something big. You decided what you want to do and how you want to live. I am sure you don't want to live with Mariana for the rest of your life. Do something now. Live the life you want. Because every decision impacts and changes your life forever. Find your passion, find something you've always wanted to do and you're happy to do it. Don't do things to please others. Please yourself. You can make us proud but you have to be proud of yourself. I know you were raised to put others first but you have to put yourself before anyone. That was one of the mistakes I made and never got the chance to learn from it.. But you have a whole life ahead of you. Start doing something, I know you can do it.

This will be the hardest part of your life. And I am sorry to put you all through that. Knowing you, you're exactly like me. You don't know how to express the way you feel. One thing Mateo that I will say, it's okay to be happy, it's okay to be mad, it's definitely okay to cry. You shouldn't hold how you feel and question why aren't people there for you. Because you don't speak. You don't talk about it. Communication is a big key. You have loving people who you can trust. It's okay Mateo.

The only thing I ask for is please take care of your mother for me. Make sure she finds someone else like me, if not better. Respect them and accept the changes son. Take care of your sisters too. I know I left you with responsibilities and I know they are fine but always protect them. You're the man now. Be the man I tried to raise you to be. Old habits are old for a reason. It's never the answer, I know you well. I hope you find the woman of your dreams like I did with your mother. Treat that women like a queen because she deserves it. Make sure you get yourself a queen. I will be up here watching your future family grow and I will be very happy. As of right now be the best son, the best brother and well now, the best uncle ever. This baby will bring you guys the light, I already asked her so and she agrees. Be safe my son. Pass everything I taught you down to the next. I love you so much Mateo. Never forget that. You're one of the best things that has ever happened to me and thank you for changing my life for the better.

Eu te amo meu filho.

Love, seu pai.

xoxo.