No church yard this time, she was back in the 'whiteness'. Still in the wedding dress, Jac looked around her in the stillness. Silence.
Suddenly Jac became aware of activity at the end of the long room she appeared to be in. She felt the need to run towards it. As she drew closer her heart swelled as she saw it was Fletch. He was laughing and swinging Emma round like he had earlier in the day. She moved to join them but they were behind glass - she couldn't get to them. So close but she couldn't get to them.
Jac began hammering on the glass. Shouting
FLETCH . FLETCH I'M HERE. I CAN'T REACH YOU. EMMA IT''S MUMMY SWEETHEART IT'S MUMMY. Jac was sobbing as she banged on the glass. Why can't they hear me or see me?
They looked happy together which made Jac feel happy but why couldn't she get to them.
Before her eyes the scene changed, Emma was crying and Fletch was trying to comfort her
Put your hand in the glass Jac. Try to connect with them - it was Roxanna's voice
Jac places the palm of her hand on the glass. It reminded her of her parting gesture when she placed her hand on the theatre observation window
She held her hand there and held her breath
Please please please she chanted under her breath
Fletch and Emma turned at the same time, placing her other hand on the glass she watched as they both ran towards her with tears running down their faces
They placed one of their hands on each of hers
Mummy. Jac could tell that that's what Emma was saying
Baby Jac replied
Then everything went black. Jac woke with a start. Taking in her surroundings - she was still in hospital. One more night.
A nurse entered to check her obs
"Oh hi you're awake"
"This is not your ward lofty what are you doing here?"
"I'm doing overtime" he looked at her sheepishly from under his curls "I might have a wedding to pay for if everything goes to plan"
"You and Dominic?"
"Oh god ,I shouldn't have said anything. I don't know why I did"
"It's the 4am truth drug"
"Please don't say anything. I haven't even worked out where, when and how to ask him. All I have is my grandad's ring"
"That's sweet" Jac said without her normal sarcastic tone "Lofty are you any good at interpreting dreams?"
He laughed "only from what I read in magazines that I nicked from my cousin Julie"
"Are you busy?"
"Well not too bad and I'm due a break"
And with that the unlikely duo sat and talked. Jac told lofty all her dreams, about Fletch, about Emma. He already knew about her and Fletch getting together- Sacha.
"So what do you think?"
"Hmm well, there seems to be a theme of losing something or someone. It sounds like you're scared"
Jac snorted
"Scared" he continued "Of dying, of being so close to happiness but watching it fade away,scared that you've let people get close. I don't know Ms Naylor"
" you've sat here listening to me ramble on for the past 3 hours. I think you can call me Jac, lofty"
She looked thoughtful "I don't even know your real name. That's how arrogant and aloof I am. No interest in other people"
He chuckled "it's Ben, but you know I think you've changed. You're much less, in your words, aloof"
"Why do you think I'm always wearing a wedding dress in these dreams"
"Do you want to get married?"
"Never really considered it"
"Just making a commitment to someone? A non verbal symbol, almost as if you said it out loud it could be broken. All I know is back in the real world - take the chance. Dom and I faffed about so much, we've wasted so much time and none of us know how long we've got. I'd best go. Nice talking to you Jac"
"Thanks Lofty and good luck with the proposal"
