•Chapter 18•

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*Jin POV*

I knew I loved her. I wasn't sure when my heart had begun to beat so hard for her, but having her wrapped in my arms made me go crazy.

I loved her.

I loved someone I was never going to be able to be with.

And that was the sad realization as she asked me if I loved her.

How could I give her love, if she'd one day leave me for good?

How could I love someone who was already dead?

I didn't want to cry in front of her, however, nor did I want to let her know the thoughts that had been riding through my mind.

But she knew.

Behind her sadden tone I knew she knew.

She knew the reason I couldn't say I love you, the reason why I simply hugged her tightly, kissing her skin softly.

With every kiss an apology.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry.

I'm sorry Y/N.

I love you too much to keep you here.

My confession would keep you wandering the face of this earth, a place where she didn't belong.

If I kept her here she'd regret it, her life form would deteriorate and soon become a shriveled up piece of nothingness, and instead of being a good spirit, she'd turn evil. Like May, full of mischief and regret, wanting revenge instead of peace.

I couldn't do that to her, out of my selfish desires to keep her with me.

I couldn't hurt Y/N more then she had already been hurt.

Hugging her tightly, I listen to her sleep, her breath hitting my chest softly.

"Why.. Why do all the things I love have to be ripped away from me?!" I thought, tears now filling my eyes.

How was life this cruel to me?

I began combing my fingers through her hair, feeling each strand and imagining her image as I did.

I kissed her shoulder, the back of her head, her arm.

I wanted to stay like that forever, feeling her warm body against mine.

"Jin... Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I'm the boss, I can be late if I want to," I responded, cleaning up my tears as quickly as possible.

Turning around to look at me she cupped my face with her hand.

It was soft, and gentle, like her.

"This. Even if I have to go, this is what I want to see every day. When I move on, I hope the afterlife has posters of this gorgeous face plastered all over the place."

I smirked, taking her hand from my check and peppering it with kisses.

I smiled softly.

One thing I couldn't afford was to break down in front of her.

Not now.

She needed a reassuring farewell, not to have someone to stick to down on earth.

She was long gone, and holding on to her... It would only cause both of us pain.

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