Humming Bird Lexa/You/Clarke story

Snuggles for pain

Noone's pov:

Y/n clutches her journal as another sob releases from her lips. Her head whips back with her mouth wide open in a soundless spine shaking scream. Her chest becoming uncomfortable to move while her throat tightens from lack of water.

Her eyes squeeze tight, the midafternoon light blinding her torched bloodshot eyes, as another unheard sound escapes her. The feeling of her temples pounding with the pain causes her brain to stop comprehending what is going on.

"It hurts.." she whimpers out in between raking shudders, her voice comes out broken and shrill. 

A few days have passed where the small brunette has locked herself in her tent unable to tell her body to move or to engage in numbing conversations with people who don't know her. She has moved from her bed only once because her journal had fallen off while she tossed and turned and tried to stop existing. No one has come and checked on her probably because they are busy making preparations to help Polis against the mountain men, but to her, no one has checked on her because no one cares. She disregards that a few people have come to see her, but she pretended to sleep so they would leave because she knew they would leave anyway and didn't want to waste their time. Now she sits on her bed scrunched up in a ball trying to block her thoughts from herself while whimpy whimpers slip from her lips.

She closes her journal and squeezes it with all her might locking her white knuckles out to distract herself from the pain. "It hurts so much.." Her voice is barely heard though in her head she's screaming, not even knowing what to think.

"Y/n...?" She hears shuffling in her tent and hands on her own, "it's not gettin better... it's not... please ... it's not gettin better." Y/n looks pleadingly into Clarke's eyes, her own being swallowed in deep warm tears. Clarke is left speechless at the shattered state she found the smaller brunette in. She doesn't hesitate and pulls the younger girl into a bone crushing hug trying to keep all of Y/n's beautiful parts somewhat intact. "Shhh.. shh shhh... it's okay honey... it's okay."

Tears brim Clarke's eyes as she hears the young brunette squeak from not being able to breathe properly between sobs. "I... I just want it to be over..." Y/n pulls away from the blonde, her hands putting pressure on her temples. Clarke watches in concern as Y/n seems to push against her own skull. Her eyes closed to everything around her as she fights whatever is going on internally.

Clarke rubs Y/n's back trying to find a rhythm with her strokes to hopefully help calm down the younger girl. "I just want the pain to leave..." her mouth left open as another unheard wail of pain pushes from within Y/n, Clarke feels the smaller girl tense up beneath her touch.

Clarke pulls the squirming girl back into her arms and begins to stroke her hair. "I just... I just want it to stop..." Y/n tries to pull away again as she feels her hot tears fall onto Clarke's shirt. She tries to escape her warm arms and gentle grasp but Clarke is too persistent, too stubborn. She won't give up on her.

More tears bubble to the surface, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Clarke's strokes beginning to calm her down slightly. "I don't deserve you... or Lex.. or O... or Raven... I don't I don't." Clarke continues to stroke Y/n's hair letting her get out what's in her. She knows the girl is wrong with that statement but knows this is not the best time to do it.

Y/n's sobs turn to whimpers and slowly but surely her breathing slows to a raspy normal. "You are so lucky Lexa wasn't here to hear you say you don't deserve her," Clarke calmly whispers against the top of Y/n's head. "She would have taken you down for being so down on yourself," the blonde pulls away and holds Y/n's face in her hands. "Raven would have beat the shit out of you too."

Y/n nods quietly thinking about the two girls getting physical over what she believed. Her head bows down as she rubs her pendant for comfort. "Hey," Clarke picks up Y/n's face once more and looks into her eyes. "You're okay Pup, we are here to help you find you again.... you're okay." Clarke pulls Y/n into another hug seeing that Y/n's eyes started to fill with tears from hearing Clarke's statements.

"You're okay." Clarke softly speaks feeling Y/n lean her weight into the blonde. The small brunette closes her heavy eyes as her brain begins to shut down, the tiredness quickly catching up to the younger girl. Clarke feels Y/n relax and begins to try to hum one of Y/n's tuneless tunes to her.

After a few minutes, Clarke realizes Y/n has fallen asleep with the steady breathing she feels against her neck and moves to tuck her in bed, but the younger girl has a hold on Clarke's shirt so she climbs in bed next to her and tucks them both in. The blonde looks out the tiny window while she continues to hum to the softly sleeping girl. Her beautiful girlfriend. Her eyes brim with small tears as she thinks of a life without Y/n and Lexa and how lost she would be without them.

Looking down, her gaze travels over the smaller girl's soft facial features, absentmindedly curling some of the brunette's hair around her finger. She leans down and lands a soft sweet kiss on her girlfriend's lips. Letting the feel of them play in her mind while she lays quietly next to the sleeping beauty.

A time later, Clarke is lost in thought looking out the window at the darkening outside and on the brink of sleep when she hears shifting by the door. Placing an arm over Y/n, Clarke turns to let out a sigh when she realizes it's Lexa who is looking at her curiously. Lexa's eyes shift from Clarke to Y/n and back and without hesitation she climbs over the two on the bed and gets under the covers next to Y/n, pulling them both closer to her body in a big hug. 

Lexa watches Clarke's eyes grow heavy, "I think... we should move her into our tent Lex." The brunette nods knowing that Clarke can't see her response with her eyes closed. "We will," she releases softly smiling as Y/n's head shifts to lay on her chest. Her warm breath brushing against her skin. She watches both of their bodies rise softly up and down, her gaze shifting to Y/n's cheeks. She sees the salty river stains on the smaller brunette's cheeks and her heart sank. "We're here Y/nn." She whispers softly towards the sleeping girl, readjusting her arm so both sleeping heads lay on her it. Struggling to lean over she hovers quietly over both and kisses their cheeks delicately cautiously laying back down to not wake them. Her free arm wraps around the two to pull them closer, giggling faintly watching Y/n's face smoosh more into her chest. She watches over them intently, her eyes growing heavy as darkness slips before her vision.