Humming Bird Lexa/You/Clarke story

Unfair Past

Clarke's pov:

I tense my jaw as Raven takes my hands from my face once more. "That's so messed up Raven," I lean back and glare at her while she tilts her head to the side innocently.

"What? I just set her up to help her get the tattoos. She's her own person, you know? I can't stop her." I take a sigh and nod my head. She sits down on the bed beside me, pulling my slowly healing leg onto her lap. "This is so close to being healed, honey." I nod my head and roll my eyes.

"It better. I am leaving with Lexa tomorrow to start making my way to get Y/n from your stupid ex." Her small laughter fills the air of the half-empty tent while she leans back onto the sinking bed before she catches her breath and bites her lip looking up at me. I bite the inside of my cheek and watch her as her eyes follow the trail her soft fingers leave on my leg. "Did she ever tell you the meaning of any of her tattoos?" She shrugs still enthralled in my skin.

"Well, you know the arrows. She has her mother and father's favorite flowers intertwined on her thigh," She bites her lip while her finger starts to draw circle along my shin. "Aside from that I really only know of the semicolon on her vein that's on her," her eyebrows stitch together while she is in thought, "That is for her depression, she tried to commit when she was younger but our friend and I helped her." Releasing a loud breath her fingers pause in their tracks only to continue in an infinity shape. "Oh, and the ampersand on her back shoulder blade that means something deep like a broken infinity." She takes another breath, her eyes closing momentarily, her anxiety clear in the small bags growing under her eyes. "Luna is a bit psycho Clarke," another breath, "please tell me you will bring Y/n home safely. She deserves to be safe." Her gaze turns to me, I nod looking at my hands.

"Does anyone else know what happened to her family? What that guy did?" I look up at her, she still biting her lip.

"No. Everyone thinks that she killed them." My bottom lip begins to tremble again, I quickly shift my gaze back to my hands.

"He killed her family. For drugs. For some medication." Raven puts her hand on my thigh and squeezes hard. "Is that why that Skaikru man tried to kill her the day we were training and found her with bloody knuckles?" Raven's sigh beside me gives me all the answering I need.

"Ya, most people from the Arc still believe that she did go killer happy and kill her family and her best friend and his family." Raven takes another big breath in and squeezes my thigh while I continue to watch my hands. "Your mother did try to help. She knew that our friend wouldn't last long enough to move from the bottom of the list." I nod my head feeling the tears build behind my eyelids as I absentmindedly shake my head and close my eyes.

"Ya... but he still died an even worse death." Raven sighs, squeezing my leg again.

"I know, but no one expected it to happen. No one could have predicted it." I nod my head, my eyes still closed as I picture a young boy drowning in blood. The warm tears spill as I think of how alone and sad and angry Y/n must have felt. How she must have barely understood what she was going on.

"What did you do when she disappeared?"

There is a long pause of silence. I feel Raven's hand squeeze my thigh once more and then pull away to wrap around my shoulders and pull me against her, my slightly injured leg slipping off her lap and onto the bed. Her breathing is shaky. Eerily quiet.

"I didn't know she was alive until I came to the ground."I open my eyes and allow the tears to fall, Raven's hand rubbing my shoulder softly. 

"I just thought the pills finally killed her." Her voice breaks. Her hands shaking against my shoulders.

"We should have worked to get more of that medication, then no one would have killed them and she wouldn't have been called guilty for all of their deaths" I nod, my hands pinching at each other while the feeling of the small brunette's hair plays in my memory, while her giggle and hum ring in my ears.

"Ya but that medication takes years to make. I remember my mom coming home with so much anxiety from never being able to have enough to help those who need it." My hair moves slightly as Raven's head nods against me.

"Abby is great Clarke. She is a hard worker and tries her best to do what she can." I nod my head and try to take a deep breath but it came out as more as a sob than anything else.

"That's just so messed up. They thought she was a mental case capable of mass murder when her family was only trying to help another family.

"Ya well, O said that she was pretty well-liked in the cells." I nod my head.

"Ya, a lot of people seemed to like her. I just tended to stay in my cell and draw." Raven sighs next to me.

"O told me that she was the one to teach Y/n to hum." I look up and see her eyes dancing around looking across the tent. "Ya, something happened with a guard. I I don't know, but Y/n would have some serious breakdowns so O would hum and have Y/n hum along," she turns her head towards me, her brown eyes bloodshot but warm. "That's how Y/n started to trust her. So every time that Y/n had bad thoughts or something would happen, O would hum to her and talk to her through the walls of their cells until she fell asleep." I smile softly at the thought of the smaller girl snuggled up peacefully, even for a short time, with Octavia just on the other side of the wall attentively humming to soothe someone she barely knows. I take a breath to try and relax.

"Will you let me walk so I can get ready to go with Lexa?" I turn my head to the brunette who slowly allows a smirk to overtake her solemn look. She shakes her head before pushing me back on the bed and taking my legs on her lap. I roll my eyes and bite my lip to hide the small smile from my friend's protectiveness. I take a moment and think about Y/n's situation.

"Whatever did happen between you and Luna?" Raven's smile falters for a moment, her gaze falling from my face to her lap.

"I broke up with her after she was so rough to Y/n she nearly killed her." I nod my head realizing she couldn't see it and slowly sat up to pat her hand in my own. "Ya, she was always jealous of Y/n not seeing that I love her like a sister. She always blamed Y/n for why I broke it off with her when she was just too possessive and obsessive for me." I nod and wrap my hands around her shoulders and pull her onto the bed with me, my legs still on top of hers.

"It's not your fault Rav. Not your fault." I hear a throat clear and look up to see Lexa standing at the entrance of the tent, her eyebrow quirked and an amused smile on her lips.

"Am I interrupting something?"