THE STORY BEHIND US: PART 1 (A JenBin Fanfiction)

CHAPTER 42

(Hanbin stands up and everyone is looking forward to what he is about to say.)

BI: (clears his throat then kneels in front of the girls.) Noona, Chaeng, Lisa, I've read all Jennie's letter. (Everyone was surprised except for Jay) Though I can't tell you how, but it is for sure that I read every single letter she wrote for me. I just realized that even before WIN, she was very worried about me, ani, she was very worried about me all the time. (Tears started forming) I did not realize that such an amazing person is doing everything she can just to borrow a short time of me but I did not give it but instead I give it to someone else which is a very big mistake of me. I did break up with her during that time because like what Jennie said, once I made up my mind, I'll go all the way. She really knows me well. Yes I am that kind of person, I'll go all the way an see the end of it, but that was also my mistake because I did not know that it hurts that much. I know I don't have the right to say this but noona (Jisoo) it really hurts a lot. After feeling the pain, I wouldn't dare to imagine how hurt she was and I know that the pain I've caused her just adds up to the pain she's suffering from losing her mom. I won't forget what I did to her and I'll willingly accept all the karma. I want to start a new life noona, If you would allow me, I want to start again together with Jennie, Please? Jisoo-noona, Chaeng, Lalice please?
Jisoo: Wait wait, you read all her letters?
Chaeng: Are you sure, are you telling us the truth oppa?
Lalice: Or are you just lying to make us not get angry at you?
BI: It really is the truth noona, Chaeng, Lis. I can't tell you where did I get those letter or how did I get those letter but it really is the truth. I am fully aware that I don't have the right to tell a lie right now after what I have done to her, to you, to all of us. (He lowers his head and tears just flow down his cheeks.)
Jisoo: Arraseo, I'll believe you because like what you just said, she's been worrying about you ever since WIN started and that is true BUT I just want you to know one thing, we are not the one you should be sorry for, the one you should be asking apology or anything because I'm very sure you're well aware that it is not us whom you've cheated on and lied to. We are not in place to forgive and forget but at the same time we are also the ones who will be helping you come to back to your senses.
BI: (He knows what Jisoo means and it is beyond his imagination. He did not think that the girls have this generous heart that is willing to help you stand up after falling down because of your own foolishness. He took it very emotionally and definitely won't forget this moment of his life.) Ne noona, thankyou so much for this, and I won't forget this for the rest of my life. Though some may think that it is very easy for me to get your trust back but I will prove anyone that I'll be worth of your trust in me, more to that is to get Jennie's trust back and never break it again ever. (Mixed emotions is eating him.)
Chaeng: You want to start again with her?
Lisa: Ottoke? Do you think it'll be that easy oppa?
BI: Jisoo-noona, Chaeng, Lis, I need your help and you too hyung (referring to Jay and to the guys). Please I'm begging you to please help me please?
Jisoo: What's your plan then? I need to remind you, Jennie is still suffering from depression and I bet you know that it's a very hard fight when it comes to depression right? And we still don't know yet when will she come back. I don't want to say this and most of all I don't want this to happen but she might not come back for good if she can't overcome it sooner. I hope you're fully aware of that. (BI and the boys are shocked to what Jisoo said.)
BI: Starting from this point forward, I'll work harder, twice as I did before. I'll make good songs for her, for you, for all of us. I'm going to work hard enough to get myself stressed out. Don't get me wrong about this, I mean it in a good way. I'll be a better person for all of us. Of course I just can't say it but I also need to show you good results. Writing songs is very hard and you might think this is a burden to me and yes, it really is that's why I choose this way to reflect all of my mistakes and to be a better man. (Bobby butted in)
Bobby: Yah imma that's what I'm about to say. I know that writing songs is fun but the burden you carry once you hold the pen is heavier than you thought, it's harder so I agree that you take that as your punishment imma! I hope you will learn a lesson from it.
BI: Ne hyung, by the way, the help I'm asking you guys is not to help me make songs but to let me write songs, and carry this burden all by myself. In that way, I'll really let the karma hit me and feel what it feels like. In short, please let me get my punishment all alone and guide me to be the man that is worth to Jennie's trust and to your trusts, all of you. When the time comes that Jennie comes back, I won't approach her yet and ask forgiveness right away noona, it might affect her condition, but instead I'll think of a way to formally ask forgiveness to her when she's already fine. I heard this from someone "When you did something wrong, don't try to apologize immediately without sincerity on it, instead, give more time to yourself to reflect on it, in that case, when you're ready, then sincerity will be with you without a doubt." What I mean is that I won't try to run away and not to tell her how bad I am. I am going to do it when the right time comes.  
Jisoo: Yeah, the one you heard was right, you should let the guilt torture you more before you ask forgiveness. Think of all the pain you've caused her, it won't be that easy to forgive and forget. So is that all? What are you going to do then when she comes back then, are you going to avoid her?
Lisa: Or should I say, how, how will you make sure that you won't run away or won't avoid her when she really is back in here?
Chaeng: You need to give us a definite answer, a sure one.
BI: For now, I'll face the karma, and I believe that as I get my punishment, I'll be a better person. I swear, I won't disappoint you guys again. And please trust me, that will never happen. I know I don't have the right to tell you this but I think if there's one person who's dying to see her right now is me. I know that you all want to see her, but that does not compare to my wanting to see her, it's true.
Jisoo: Well, first of all I'm glad that you said those Hanbin-na. That's what I just wanted to hear from you. Second, you might think that this might be rude of me but yeah that serves you well!! You should be feeling the pain inside two times, ani, hundred times more than what she felt because of what you've done NAPPEUN NOMA!!! I should curse more but it won't do me good so just feel the pain!
Chaeng: Yeah, nappeun nom!!!
Lisa: Nappeun nom!!
BI: Aniyo, it's okay noona. To be honest, I feel at ease now that you said those words. It will be harder for me to accept my karma if you didn't say those words. I feel relieved that Jennie has very loving sisters, and of course us, the boys to have you guys, a very caring family.

(After their hang out, they are back to their usual routine. The girls continue their training while the boys are preparing for their debut.)