A Beautiful Thing (Spideychelle) UNDER EDITING

Hugs and heartbreak

Peter POV

Stood at the front of the medical room I see the curtains are finally open. I see her face, she looks physically and emotionally drained but she is alive and that is enough for me right now. In fact, even that was a bit startling for me, especially as I had spent the past hours telling myself I had failed.

When she sees me she perks up and smiles which is a comforting feeling, to say the least. I rush into the room and I see her arms at wide open for a hug, making it 3 hugs today. What can I say? I like hugs, even better it's MJ which beats everyone else out of the ballpark, so gently not to hurt her I perch on the end of the bed and throw my arms around her neck almost protectively.

We hug for a while, I want to hold on to her so she can never slip away from me, so she can never hurt herself. Her hands are cold and she can barely hold herself up when I eventually let her go. I watch a singular tear flee her eye.

"Thank you, I don't deserve someone like you in my life" she whispers as she starts to tear up.  That breaks my heart. It was like no one but Ned and MJ wanted to hang around me at school and now to say that she doesn't deserve me, Peter Parker the fumbling bag of crap or as I'm more commonly known loser, is emotional for me.

"I would do it again in a heartbeat and I'd do it again 1000 times" I reply honestly

"That's why I love you, Peter," she says

My heart rises

"... as a friend, you're the best friend anyone could ever ask for " she adds through a smile.

My heart falls to the pit of my stomach and smashes into a million pieces, had I just been friend-zoned? That hurt.

I try to sweep it to the side as we continue talking, only absorbing her joy caused by simply getting another chance at life. It is pure and infectious as we talk. The longer we talk the more I notice the slur in her voice. I gather that that is just a side effect and don't linger on it. I then start to see her yawn and being tired myself I decide the responsible thing is to let her rest
. I go back to bed at around 5 with mixed feelings. in one mind I cannot shake the fact that she doesn't see me in the way I see here even after I saved her life, it's like the Spider-Man thing doesn't phase her one bit. But then there is a big part of me that is just glad for her life and enjoying all the time I have with her. Mr Stark did mention the fact that her condition is unstable which means there is a high chance she just won't survive. That part of me just wants to never leave her side even if I am just a friend.

I am in a deep sleep when a distant scream wakes me. I sit bolt upright. It is about 8 am put I  figure everyone else is sleeping because we were up very late last night. My instant reaction to the scream is her and it seems to be coming from that direction so I rush out of the covers. When I'm there, I tear open the curtains to see her violently shaking. Starting to panic  I go in there and reposition her oxygen mask and she wakes.

Just when I was thinking it was something medical, I release it was a nightmare, she had had a nightmare. I wake her gently and she snatches my hand and holds it close to her chest

"I was alone, no one was ther- no one had" she stutters

"what?" I ask confused at her disjointed sentence

"I-I" she mutters again " no one came"

"No one came where?" I say trying get something more out of her

"No one came to my funeral" she says, her glassy eyes overflowing with tears "I fell, I died but only Ned turned up to my funeral"

3 hugs, 3 heartbreaks all in the space of several hours. But this heart break wasn't for me, no it was for her. I knew what it felt like to be alone, to feel unloved and unwanted like you don't even exist, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, not at all MJ. When I looked deep into her eyes next, I didn't see a happy soul. I just saw a mask, a paper bag hiding her deepest fears.

"Wouldn't your parents be there, they love you"I reply empathetically

"What the parents who dumped me on the side of the street at 4 months, having made no effort to contact me ever since? They'd be there.

"I didn't know" I gasp. I lean forward into the bed more in an attempt to meek her eyes yet instead manage to press a button with my thigh. "Uh, What have I done?" I had expectations for the worst and our eyes where squinted as if it it was going to explode. Like all big red buttons in movies I suppose. But in actual fact, it is far from deadly as we see another mattress in line with the third making it a double bed which the tearful girl beconded me into.

She continues to talk about her foster home how she felt invisible how no one liked her. I put my arm around her and try to fathom the emotional pain she hides behind a smile. We were both emotionally exhausted however I can tell this is all true as she fumbles over the right words to describe her trauma. Long years of pain locked away deep inside of her, only just bubbling to the surface now.

"It's like I didn't really want to live until I was falling. Until I had a risk of dying. I look for characters in books and art to ease the loneliness but it's only now I am begging to see clearly. Like I have you and Ned but I'm so so afraid of losing you now. Your all I had to live for in the first place"