psycho | jaeden lieberher

thirteen

Of course the one day I actually have important plans, rehearsal runs late. Normally we get out at 5:30 on Fridays, but it's 6:07 and I doubt we are getting released any time soon. Today we were doing a full run through of act one, even though the majority of the scenes are a mess, and apparently we can't leave until we finish. By 6:23 the final scene of the act is starting, it's Veronica and JD's first love song. Jaeden and I do the scene and song, with scripts of course because we've only rehearsed this scene a few other times. I feel him looking at me during the song, but I pretend I don't have the words down so I can look at the script instead of him. And before I know it I am at my bag packing up at 6:30. 

"Mom, why aren't you here?" I almost yell into my phone. My mom, aside from not being outside the school in her car, is also not picking up her phone. So I'm yelling into voicemail. Usually she goes to a late night meeting on Fridays, but she always texts me if I'd need a ride. And she knows I have an extremely important date tonight, and at this time rate I might not even be able to change my outfit. When I hang up the voicemail, I sit on the steps, knowing this night is a flop.

"Is this going to be a reoccurring thing? Me giving you a ride?" Jaeden says stepping in front of me, putting out a hand. I stare at him for a second, then at his hand, and take it so I can get up off the ground.

"Looks like it, Lieberher." I say once I get up. We are oddly close to each other, I assume because of the helping-me-up thing, but it doesn't seem like he is mad about the lack of distance. And I don't think I am either. "My house this time, and I'm kind of in a rush." I say, sliding into the passenger seat. 

"What you got a date or something?" He kind of laughs, and I'm not really sure why he thinks its funny.

"Yes, actually. First one in a while, and I don't want to be late." I huff, praying I make it to my house with enough time to get pretty. 

"Just tell Finn you're running late, no big deal." He pulls out of the spot and starts driving to my house.

"Yes big deal. I don't want to upset him." 

"If he really loves you he won't get upset."

"Who said he loves me?"

"You have that look about you. Like the 'my boyfriend just said he loves me so now I'm glowing and I feel flawless' look." He giggles to himself, sneaking to look at me and not the road.

"I do not." I cross my arms. I'm not glowing. And I certainly don't feel flawless.

"Yes, you do. It's a good look on you though. Like you were great before but something was missing, and now nothing is missing because he said he loved you." He fully looks at my now, not caring about the road. 

"Uh, thanks. But I don't feel any better about myself since he said it." I shrug.

"Why not?" He asks, finally looking at the road to make a sharp turn.

"I don't know. I mean, I feel like I owe him something now. He did something I've been wanting from him, now I have to repay him." 

"You mean sex?"

"No! We've already done that." Oh my god, why am I talking about my sex life to Jaeden Lieberher. "I mean, I feel like I need to be perfect for him now. I can't mess up anymore."

"No one is perfect. But if there was a contest for who is closest I'm sure you'd win." He isn't looking at me, but he is smiling.

"Shut up." I mumble, not believing a word he is saying. He is pulling onto my street, and because of that he is silent. I see my house in the distance, and he pulls into my driveway but doesn't unlock the car for me.

"Does Finn not make you feel perfect?" He turns his body to me, since he is no longer driving. 

I look at the clock, 6:49. "I really need to go get ready." 

"Just answer my question. Does he make you feel perfect?"

"Not all the time." I mumble.

"Then why are you with him?"

"Because I love him. And he loves me back." 

"That's the problem. He loves you back, not he loves you. You need someone who as invested and into you as you are to them. Someone who asks you on dates all the time, not once in a while. Someone who thinks you're perfect."

"I'm not perfect." Is all I can get out. Why am I so close to tears? Why is Jaeden making me emotional?

"Corinne," Jaeden moves his hand and puts it on my thigh. Lightly, not rough. Not like he is trying to get on the other side of my pants, like he just wants to touch me. "You're so perfect. You're funny, and talented, and the most gorgeous person I've ever seen."

"Jaeden, I have to go." I snap out of whatever emotional state he put me in. It's 6:56, there goes getting prettier for Finn. Shit, maybe Jaeden is right. I shouldn't need to "get prettier" for my boyfriend, he should love me no matter what I'm wearing or how my makeup looks. Jaeden's hand is still on my leg, he is still staring at me. He isn't staring at me like Finn does though, he is staring at me like someone who loves what they see. He isn't talking, and neither am I. We are just sitting there, his hand on my leg, kind of staring at each other. I look at the door behind him, it's unlocked. How long has it been unlocked? Has it been this whole conversation? I could've gone to get ready this whole time if I really tried, but I've been here in this car talking to Jaeden.

"Kiss me." I mumble, not even aware of what I am doing. Why the fuck am I moving closer to him? Why the fuck do I want Jaeden Lieberher to kiss me? I have a date with Finn any fucking second, and I just told Jaeden Lieberher to kiss me. Please, don't listen to me Jaeden. Please, please, don't listen to me. 

But he listens to me. His lips are on mine. Lightly, just like how I like it. But it's a better kind of light then when Finn does it. When Finn does it, it's because I told him I like light kisses, so he prevents himself from making it rough. But I've never told Jaeden that, he just did it.

"What the fuck, Corinne?" I snap back, pulling away from Jaeden. There is another car in the driveway. Finn.

________

shit i promised an update by wednesday and now its sunday oopssssss

but im hella proud of this ok byeeeeeeee