psycho | jaeden lieberher

thirty one

After managing to sneak out of my conversations with Wyatt, I dropped the Chinese food off with my parents and take the journey to the familiar driveway of a house that isn't mine. As I walk closer and closer to the front door I feel the emotions of the last time I was standing in the doorway of this house, all the fury and the sadness, wanting to just make everything alright. The emotions flooding through my brain when I saw him, the intense mixture of love and hate, of missing and ignoring, that somehow make perfect sense. And as I take the last few steps to my future, I pray that this time it's better, perfect even. 

"Hey, Corinne." Is said as the door swings open, only seconds after I rung the doorbell. Suddenly the smell of the house floods my brain, the smell that surrounds some of my happiest memories, the smell that is so close to the smell of him, the smell I've grown to love. 

"Hey." I say with a half smile, because that is what he is supplying me. I don't want him to think I want him before he tells me he wants me, so I just supply the same emotion he is. And right now I think the emotion is confused, maybe a little surprised, but I think surprised in a way that he figured I would come and is amazed at the fact that he was right.

He shifts awkwardly, in his typical blue jeans and his navy button down that he only wears on good hair days because he rather look completely put together than only partially put together. I've always been confused about how that works, because I'm the completely opposite. We're pretty opposite when you really think about it, whether or not outsiders agree or not. But opposites attract. "So what are you doing here?"

"I," miss you, "don't know." 

"Oh," He shrugs, that shrug that I used to hate because of the way that it literally is impossible to decipher.

Come on, Corinne. Just tell him you miss him and love him. Tell him that everything that's happened in the past was whatever but right now you want him. Tell him that you hope and pray he feels the same. "I saw Wyatt today, he told me some stuff."

"Shit," Jaeden mumbles quickly, just before correcting himself, "what did he tell you?"

"Just stuff about like you or whatever." I fumble around with words, causing my eyes to divert down to my shoes, knowing his eyes will only make me fumble more.

"What about me?" 

"He told me that I should try to get you back." I look up at him, into his deep eyes that you could fall into if you look for too long. That I already fell into a long time ago.

For a second I think that was the wrong thing to say due to the lack of responding but after a second of silence he steps closer to me, so I take a step closer to him to make it so we're at that sexual tension filled distance where any second one of us could break the distance but neither of us are sure if we should. "Is this you trying?" He refers to the fact that if one of us moved our bodies would be touching.

"Yeah." I almost whisper, knowing at this short distance he will be able to hear me. "Is it working?" 

"Yeah." He fully smiles now, which causes my heart to flutter. "But only a little because you're kind of shitty at this." 

"Ok I'll try harder. I miss you, like a lot. I know whatever shit I thought you did with Emily was probably nothing, and I know I made the mistake of not listening to you, and you deserve so much better than me. But I miss you, Jaeden Lieberher."

"I missed you too, Corinne Leon."