Pyromaniac Reader X Grillby

Chapter 36: The Truth

Shook to your core. The questions Grillby has asked. That discussion. It made it a clear reminder of your persona as a dumb person. You are smart in some way, just lacking proper education. Unable to resist, habits are hard to die off. Pretending to be the naive, and dimwitted so no one can suspect you to keep a low profile. Only Sans and Flowery were able to see through it. The old lifestyle back then, fooling others to your will just for yourself on escaping.  You rely on him on others too much for that is all you know. You are always in need of another person to use due to the tight security.

It hurts. To feel guilt is the last thing for you expected to do. Learning the empathy and compassion for others. Feeling grateful for the gifts and efforts. Happiness and joy. Learning to feels all these emotions and living. Grillby changed you as a person for he bothered to help. You know for sure he has done something wondrous, all for you without evening asking. There are so many unknown things he completed behind your back for your benefits. 

Just why? At the very beginning, you are an uncalled burden on him. A nuisance and a brat. You know very well. He tolerated you, and you choose to change for it looks pleasing to you not for him or anyone.

That is a dumb question. He loves you, of course. That foolish man, Grillby, he loves you to death a matter of fact he nearly got killed by your hands a few times before. Then why did you say that earlier? All those words of caring for him. Is it true? 

Taking a side glance at him sitting on the sofa while you sit on the cushioned armchair. A strange sensation spreads across your face and chest. Holding your cheeks confused, to feel the warmth. Your caretaker noticed your unexpected behavior shows great concern.

You excused yourself from the living room to the bathroom to look at the mirror. A shade, a hue. The color of red tinted your primary skin color. Your eyes, the pupils are enlarged then they usually are. It became clear.

You are in love with the man of fire. Not because made out of flames, his devotion, patience, and personality. All of that was so silly at first, but it grew on you to value these traits. He is too good for you. Chest tighten as you back yourself into a wall only to slide down to the cold floor. It was supposed to be a happy day just the two of you. And now you just wanted to be left alone. 

Lost in thought for who knows how long, until Grillby popped up when you didn't want him to. You are in such a vulnerable mental state refusing to let anyone see that side of you. Jerked away avoiding eye contact. As long he doesn't look at your eyes he will not know.

"(Y/N)?" Ignoring him is not what you are doing, unlike other times. Cannot find the words to speak. Unable to comprehend words at the moment. How come you didn't hear the movie on the TV is off? How did you not listened for his approaching footsteps? You cannot read him from his expressions, but his voice. His soft voice.

"(Y/N)." He sounded more desperate this time than his questioning tone. Never predicted for him to behave this way. Silence is all he is receiving calling you out again his voice cracked. 

Is he going to cry!?! Begging in your head, hoping that is not the case. Sadly he is in fact on the verge of tears. Analysing him within seconds, he believed he had made a terrible choice of bringing up the topic about the relationship that it broke the connection between the two of you. 

It tugged you in the wrong direction. Wanting the sorrows to go away, you cradle his face hushing him as comfort the best as your efforts go. His hands on top of your are gentle to the touch. Grillby is hesitant. Closing his eyes shut, holding back the emotions from pouring out. He struggled some hardships too. He is in need of an outlet or else he will burn out.

"Grillby, it is okay. I love you." His response is heartwrenching you wanted to weep with him.

"Do you really? You will leave soon enough."

"Yes, I do. It is okay for you to cry, I still love you. Why would I leave my family behind? You never did once. You always come back." The words stumble a bit from the heat of the moment. What you say is the truth. He howls out the words of relief while lending him a shoulder to cry on for he is the beacon, but a beacon always needs its support beams to hold its structure.

The embrace he has on you is strong refusing to let go returning the hug he weeps some more, rubbing circles on his back you hum out a melody on the fly while rocking him. You see Toriel done this on some occasions. It actually works. Thank goodness. He looks dimmer than before, more tired and exhausted. Giving him another long hug for good measures patting him.

You made a promise to yourself to always tell the truth to him it is best for both. You cherished him more and more. Emotions do not trap you. The negative emotions are caught shut in by you even if unintentional.