Stay With Me (Zalfie)

12. Main Stage Panic

We were going to the main stage.

I am so terrified and anxious that it's making me sweat. I am scared that I might completely embarrass myself infront of EVERYONE or worse have a panic attack.

"...and she is a beauty guru, fashionista, inspiration to many of you, it is of course my chummy, ZOELLA!" I stepped on stage to thousands of screams and it was terrifiying but I was suprisingly calm, I was going to be okay.

We finished on mainstage and as I stepped off I couldn't remember anything I had said but I knew it went well. I breathed a huge sigh of relief I wouldn't have to go on a main stage again for a long time so I could relax.

"Could everyone come and sit down please" a stage manager told all of the youtubers. We all sat on the chairs/floor in the green room and listened.

"We would like to congratulate everyone for doing so well today and thankyou all for making an effort to come it was amazing!" we all clapped, " I have some exciting information. Earlier on in the day we asked all the fans to vote for if they had to pick one youtuber that was their favourite to watch who would it be. What we didn't tell them was that one youtuber they vote for the most will be holding a Q&A by themselves in one hour on the stage you were just on. We have counted the votes and the viewers have stated who they like the best." We all looked at Tyler he was obviously going to get it as he had the most subscribers.
"And that person is....Zoella!" My chin dropped, this couldn't be happening to me, I couldn't go on that stage.

"How?" I whispered, scared " I don't have as many subscribers as loads of people here"

"Well your fanbase must be really dedicated and loyal and all want to come out to see you" the manager said "And anyway 3 million subscribers is A LOT"

"I don't have 3 million subscribers" I was really confused.

"Have you even checked recently?" the manager was getting impatient now. I opened my YouTube app on my phone to find I was at 3,000,025.

"Congratualtions and blah blah blah now come get ready for the stage" the manager said a bit rudely.

"I can't" everyone stared at me and Alfie, Louise and Joe could see what was coming.

"I really don't care everything's ready let's go" the woman grabbed my arm and I couldn't help but feel anxious with her, I wanted Alfie or Louise or even Joe to come with me but they couldn't. I was literally pushed backstage to watch my huge opening video which reminded me of the X Factor thing.

The voice over boomed everywhere,"SHE'S A BEAUTY STAR WITH OVER 3 MILLION SUBSCRIBERS IT IS THE AMAZING ZOELLAAAA!!!" but I was already running away.

I ran to the green room with tears streaming down my face and I started hyperventilating they couldn't make me go up there. I opened the green room door and bumped into Alfie's chest as he was just leaving.

"Zoe? Zoe what's wrong? You are supposed to be on stage." I cried more and he pulled me into a tight hug but I started to feel smothered so I used all of my adrenaline to push away. Every single Youtuber in the room had gone silent and were staring at me like I had lost it.

"Zoe, Zoe calm down what's wrong?" Alfie kept trying to comfort me but I felt my hands and feet go numb from the hyperentilating which made me hyperventilate more.

"Don't touch her Alfie it will only make it worse." Louise came and sat beside me, she had done this too many times. "Do you want to go outside chummy?" I nodded, "Come on get off the floor, it won't last long don't worry you don't need to go on the stage anymore everyone understands."

Yea everyone understands how weird you are more like.

I uncurled out of a ball and looked up at the many faces in the room, they all looked scared, Tanya who I had grown so close with looked on the bridge of tears because of course she had no idea what was happening to me, she would probably be too scared to talk to me now. Louise and I walked out with Alfie with our backs turned to the confused and pitying faces of the green room. Before the door closed I thought I heard Joe apologise to the manager and start to explain to everyone about my anxiety..

Now everyone knew.

Now everyone would treat me differently.

Now I had to tell my viewers.

Now people would judge me.

Now nothing would be the same again...