If Not Now, When? // Book 1

Chapter 30: Mar 28

Chapter 30: March 28

I had fallen asleep on Sheldon after a pretty late night. Everyone had left around 2:00 that morning, so then I had to clean up some things. I hadn't gone to bed until 3:00-3:30.

I didn't wake up until 11, but I was alone. I assumed Sheldon had got up for breakfast. I got out of bed, still wearing what I was the night before. As I trudged towards my bedroom door, I found a note taped just above the handle.

"I've gone home,

but I'm not coming back.

I'm sorry.

- Sheldon"

Tears in my eyes, I left my room to go get some breakfast. I poured some cereal for myself. No one was here. I entered the lounge with my bowl of cereal. There was a note on the coffee table.

"I've left with Kat,

I've told my parents about the pregnancy,

And I'm not allowed back at your house.

- Livia"

I had to find Shannon, he had to be here. I mean, he has nowhere else to go, right? I ran to his bedroom, his door was open a crack. I opened the door, he was hanging from the ceiling fan by a rope. There was a note on his table next to the door.

"You won't have to deal with me anymore.

There was no way anyone could stop me.

I'm so sorry, I had to.

I just don't want to live anymore."

Horrified, I nearly fell backwards, breaking down in the middle of the hallway.

---------------

This time I woke up for real. Sheldon's chest was already damp with tears. I could feel his hands running over my hair and down my back.

What if Shannon actually commit suicide?

(SHELDON'S POV)

Michaela had been crying in her sleep. I woke up nearly 20 minutes ago when she first started crying, it was kind of on and off from there. Whether it was quiet cries or loud sobs, I held her tight.

What else can I do for her?

What's going on inside her head?

I was broken out of my trance when Michaela suddenly jolted up, eyes wide. She rushed out of the room, calling Shannon's name. I got up, slowly making my way towards Shannon's bedroom. I found her hugging him tightly, they were both crying.

I left the room to see if Livia was awake. She wasn't, but she had passed out with Kat in the lounge room around midnight. I went back to Shannon's room to see how Michaela and her brother were doing.

"Do you guys want breakfast or anything?" I asked.

"I'll come out in a minute, can you get the toaster out for me? Don't hurt yourself this time, like you did on your first night here." She replied, smiling.

I chuckled. "Don't worry, I won't."

(MICHAELA'S POV)

I was so scared Shannon had actually killed himself. What would've happened if I wasn't dreaming? What would I have done then?

I left his bedroom, gesturing for him to come out and have breakfast. I made toast for everyone, including Livia and Kat, who both looked pretty much dead to the world. I left the toast on the coffee table next to them and went back to the dining room. I sat in front of Sheldon next to Shannon.