If Not Now, When? // Book 1

Chapter 34: Apr 1

Chapter 34: April 1

(SHELDON'S POV)

Help me.

I slowly opened my eyes and buried my face into my pillow. Doubt and confusion were taking over my thoughts.

Did that seriously happen yesterday?

Ugh. Why couldn't I stop Cate from doing that?

Should I tell Michaela?

Maybe I should call her...

I reached for my phone, assuming it was on my bedside table. Realising it wasn't there, I remembered it was at the end of bed after... last...nights... events..

Fuck, why do I keep reminding myself of that?

Shannon was so frantic and so worried last night and I never found out why. I leaned over, grabbing my phone from the gap between the mattress and the foot of my bed. I had 4 missed calls from Livia, 3 from Shannon but nothing from Michaela. I called her, letting it ring but I was answered by the sound of Shannon's voice.

~ Sheldon. ~ He said plainly, like he was disappointed in me. Maybe because I didn't return his call yesterday.

"Is everything okay? You sounded real panicky when you told me to call you yesterday."

~ Yeah. My sister tried to commit suicide. You didn't call me back, you didn't answer Livia when she called you. We were all waiting to see if you'd show up. Where the fuck were you, dude? ~

"I have a legitimate reason, just let me get over there. You said she tried to kill herself. Are you at home or the hospital?" I asked.

~ Hospital. Get over here, there better be a good fucking reason for this. ~ I hung up and hopped off my bed. I asked mum if she could drive me to the hospital. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Just a friend. He fell and broke his arm and he's stuck there for a few hours, so he asked me to keep him company." I lied.

"Oh, okay. I'll drop you off." Well, how else would I get there? I got in the car, my chest became heavy as I tried to regulate my breathing, hiding my worry from my mother. I prayed that she was more focused on the road than she was focused on me. She dropped me off, I said I'd call when we were ready leave. I made my way over to the front desk, asking where Michaela's room was. I slowly got up the stairs, the sound of my crutches clicking against the floor filled the silent lobby. I knocked on the door. "Come in..." I heard a voice say. I entered. Livia, Kat and Shannon sat against the wall, just in front of Michaela's bed. Shannon gave me a deadpan look.

"I'm sorry, guys..." I hadn't even looked over at my ex-girlfriend yet, afraid of what I might see. One chair sat next to her bed, I was surprised no one was sitting there. I expected Livia to be there, at least. You know, Livia being her best friend and all.

"What happened, Sheldon? Why didn't you come over? Why didn't you answer us?" Livia asked. "Why weren't you here for her?"

"Can I explain later? I can't exactly think properly at the moment."

"Fine, Sheldon. But you have to tell us sooner or later."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just not ready to yet." I trudged over to the seat next to the bed. I placed my crutches against the window and shuffled the chair closer. My breathed hitched at the sight of her lifeless body. I watched as the blanket rose with each slow breath she took. My head snapped up when I heard someone enter the room. A doctor, pen and clipboard in hand. He asked if she had done anything since we last came in.