If Not Now, When? // Book 1

Chapter 33: Mar 31

Chapter 33: March 31

They all stood around my body, which lay in next to tracks, drenched in blood, disfigured limbs and no sign of life.

"What do you think happened?" Livia asked plainly.

"Who cares? She's out of our hair, I don't have to deal with her anymore." Said Shannon, arms crossed as his shadow loomed over my corpse.

"To be honest, I'm kinda glad she's not around anymore." Said Sheldon.

"The only downside is I can't rant about Riverdale to her." Livia mumbled to Kasey and Adele who were standing beside her.

"Should we just leave her, then?" Asked Adele.

"What else would we do?" Questioned Kasey.

"I dunno, call the morgue, I guess." Sheldon suggested.

---

I woke up, silently sobbing into my pillow.

"Ugh, fuck. I hate myself." I mumbled.

No one cares, so it won't really matter whether I die or not. We have a train track not far from our house, with V-Line's coming through every 10 minutes or so. It was nearly pitch black outside and freezing, so I threw on a jacket and managed to get outside with neither Domonique nor Shannon noticing. Thunder rumbled overhead and clouds blocked the stars. I ran out to the tracks behind the house, but headed north towards the first crossing. With no train in sight, I waited until I could hear the crossing bells ringing and those blinding lights heading towards me. It wasn't a long wait, but it definitely felt like it.

(SHANNON'S POV)

I woke up to the sound of a door closing. I had trouble getting to sleep anyway, so I wasn't really sleeping as such, it was more closing my eyes hoping I would wake up hours later. I was more worried about Michaela ever since she told our shit therapist about wanting to commit suicide. I got out of bed, opening Michaela's door. I was sent into a panic when she wasn't in her room. I turned on my phone's torch and looked around the house.

"Michaela?" I yelled out, with no response. I pulled my cousin off the couch she was sleeping on, pulling her outside with me. "Michaela's missing and we need to find her."

"Holy crap, okay. Where could she be?" She asked.

"I don't know, we, uh, we have the tracks behind the house let's have a look around there!" I could hear a train horn in the distance. "Shit! Come on." I muttered, making Domonique follow me.

"Michaela!" We shouted. I shone the light from my phone along the tracks in front of me. I heard something walking about and stepping onto the tracks. I pointed the light to my left where I heard the sound. The train got closer with every second and we saw Michaela standing in the middle of the tracks. I bolted over, throwing my phone on the ground in the process. The train got closer and closer. I thought I wasn't going to make it in time. The deafening sound of the train's horn blared as I grabbed her hand, pulling her off the tracks just before the train reached her. I thought she was fine, but I must've pulled her away too hard, because as I let go, she fell and her head smacked against the ground.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, I'm sorry, please be okay." I panicked, hyperventilating. Her body laid there, lifeless and unmoving. She wasn't breathing, and it scared me. "Call an ambulance!" I yelled to my alarmed cousin. I didn't know how to save my sister. We had been taught CPR but I just never could do it. Even when they made us do it on fucking dolls it always felt weird.

I don't think I really have a choice though. I placed my hands over her chest, tears running down my cheeks like a waterfall. Stop crying. Get this done.