If Not Now, When? // Book 1

Chapter 28: Mar 26

Chapter 28: March 26

I was watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine on Netflix, texting Livia while doing English homework (I like the background noise).

Funny thing is, we were talking about what we had planned to do with our boyfriends over the next week. My phone started ringing, it was Sheldon.

I answered it.

"Hey, Shel! How you doing?"

~I'm fine, listen. I'm breaking up with you.~

"What?"

~I'm breaking up with you.~

"Why?"

~I...I can't deal with your shit anymore.~

"But-"

~Goodbye, Michaela...~ He quickly hung up.

I can't believe it...

Of course this would happen.

No one cares about me.

--

Fuck.

No, no, no, no.

Tell me that was a dream.

He didn't just break up with me, right?

I was in complete shock. I couldn't even react.

It felt so real.

Once I thought about it, I started bawling my eyes out, waking up Sheldon in the process.

"What happened, Micky?" He asked, half-asleep.

"It doesn't matter..."

"Yeah, it does. What's wrong?"

I stayed silent. I couldn't even look at him. He sat himself up, moving closer. "Michaela, please... Tell me." I couldn't say a word, any attempt I made caused me to start crying again. "Shh..." He hugged me tight. "Do you want to write it down?" I nodded.

He got up and found a pen and a notebook from my shelf and handed them to me. My hands were shaking, and I don't know if it was understandable, but I managed to write down, in the simplest form:

You broke up with me

"Wow. Dream-Me is dick. Did I say why?"

I nodded again, writing down the answer.

You couldn't deal with me.

"You know that I will try my very hardest to make sure you make it through this. I will support you as much as I can. I'm never leaving you. I don't ever want to leave you. Why do you think I would leave you?"

Remember yesterday? I become too much for people to handle when I get upset.

"Those people weren't very good friends, I told you that. The bit that gets me, is when they made you feel as though you were weak and emotional, and you didn't ditch them until it became a problem. You need to cut people like that out of your life. Remember, you can always, always, always talk to me, I will be here for you."

Finally, I had calmed down enough to talk. "I love you, Shel... Thank you so much for being here for me. I know I'm not in the best state of mind right now, I really appreciate you staying here..."

"I love you too, Micky..." He kissed my cheek.

Livia opened my door a few seconds later. "I have to go, I'll be back around 11, are you guys okay?" She asked.