It's Complicated

Chapter 5

"Mitch, are you okay? You've been distracted during our entire tutoring session. Is everything alright?" Mr. Hoying asked me, and I looked up, bewildered. He was right, I was distracted. But I was also lost. 

The only thing on my mind for the past week was the fact that I could be gay- but that was impossible. I am not gay, I thought to myself, trying to convince myself. 

But the- doubt? Realization? The thought of me being gay opened my eyes. I saw the world in a completely different way. I began to notice guys at my school in a way I had never noticed them before, in the way that I had forced myself to notice girls. And that made me happy. 

Jonah Taylor -my supposed best friend- had the brightest green eyes, and in gym class, when all the boys would change, I noticed some strong abs. 

Mark Owens, Jeremy Michael's best friend, had soft brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, and was lanky yet cute.

And the list could go on forever.

But there was one person. One man who made my heart pound right out of it's place, made my head light, one man who drove me absolutely crazy.

Is it wrong to crush on your science teacher? That sexy strong jaw, those shimmering blue eyes, the perfect teeth, the blonde hair, the strong build- every single part of him drove me crazy. 

And that wasn't even all of it. He could look like that and be a complete douche, and I wouldn't be attracted to him in the least bit. 

It was the fact that he cared. He genuinely cared about me, and I knew that. Why someone like him would care for someone like me was completely unknown to me. Mr. Hoying trusted me, he cared about me, and he cared for me. Him and I had grown closer in the past two weeks than I had with my mom in the past 17 years. 

"Mitch?" Mr. Hoying's voice interrupted me again. I jumped. "Look, if you don't want to do this, it's fine. But there is something we need to discuss before you go." I frowned. I hand't done anything wrong, had I? I had done everything I could to keep my nose clean. 

But breaking habits was hard. Jonah and I had ditched class twice, and I had talked back to a few teachers. But that certainly wasn't my worst behavior, hell I had done so much worse before. Surely word about those incidents hadn't reached Mr. Hoying, had they? I didn't want to disappoint him. Imagine disappointing someone who had devoted time to you, to try and help you. 

"Um.. sure," I said nervously. He chuckled slightly.

"You seem worried, and don't worry, I'm not going to yell at you or anything. I just want to know how to continue our tutoring sessions, and what content to teach you and help you with, but I need to know your plans. Do you plan on going to college? University? Community college? Or not moving on at all when you graduate high school?" He asked me, and his hands folded together. I could tell that this was an important question. An important question that I didn't know the answer to.

"Mr. Hoying, is it really that necessary that I think about this now? I'm only a junior. I have a whole year to think about this, right?" I asked, and he shook his head. 

"Mitch, you start to apply for college in the spring. Once you get accepted, you move onto senior year, and then to college. You can't put it off until the last month of your senior year," He said kindly. I sighed. Was I really ready to do any of this? Was I even in shape to graduate high school next year, let alone go to college? 

"I- I don't need to make this decision today, do I?" I asked timidly. He shook his head.

"Not at all, but I'd advise you to make a decision soon," He said. I nodded and took a deep breath. The after school bell rang, and i got up, packing up my things. I turned to Mr. Hoying. I swallowed and stepped forward, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly. He stood still, but then slowly wound his arms around me.

"Thank you for caring," I whispered.