It's Complicated

Chapter 4

"So you're the little faggot that stood Cindy up," Someone snarled behind me, and I swiveled around, feeling fear build up inside me. No one, and I mean no one would let that go. I faced the source of the voice and I saw the football captain standing there, with Cindy on his arm. I raised my eyebrows. If they were a thing now, then why the hell was he coming after me?

"How many times do you need me to explain that I forgot?" I asked Cindy. I was tired of this. She gave me a mean glare but said nothing.

"You hurt her feelings, and no one hurts my girl's feelings. You'd better have good explanation, punk," I racked my brains, trying to say something that would satisfy him. I had stood Cindy up, because yes, I had forgotten. But i wouldn't have gone anyway. Cindy, she wasn't for me. She was annoying and trashy. I couldn't date a girl like her. Just another girl to cross off my list. I wondered if I'd ever meet a girl I actually liked. 

I was jerked away from my confusing thoughts by someone grabbing my arm. I looked next to me, then down and I saw Kirstie standing there, holding my hand. "He stood her up because he's with me, okay Tom? He just didn't want to say anything because our relationship is a secret," Kirstie said, and gasps were heard everywhere. Why the heck had Kirstie just said that? We didn't like each other.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at her.

"Just go along with it unless you wanna get your ass kicked," She mumbled, causing me to shut up. Cindy scowled and stepped away from Tom.

'You stood me up for her? Gross! Ew Mitch Grassi, I can't believe I ever liked you. Whatever, I'm out of here," Cindy said, dragging Tom away. Kirstie and I watched her walk away, and then stood there waiting as the crowd that had formed disbanded. I turned to Kirstie and pulled her in for a hug, 

"Thanks Kirstie. I appreciate it," I said. She laughed slightly.

"No problem hon. I've hated her for a while now," She responded.

"Why would you say that though? I thought you were dating Jeremy," I said, and she smiled sadly, shaking her head. I realized what she meant and hugged her again.

"Aw I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" I asked her.

"I'm fine," She reassured, although it seemed like it was more for herself than me. "We ended on good terms. It's alright." I nodded, and looked around the nearly empty hallway. 

"We should probably get to class. I've got Hoying right now, and he'll give me detention again if I'm late. I am not in the mood to stay at school for an extra hour today," I said. She nodded and waved, walking away. 

I kept thinking about the word Tom had called me. 

Faggot.

What had made him think I like guys? I had dated many girls before. 

I was straight. 

I am straight. 

Right?

-

"Mitch, could you stay back for a few minutes?" Mr. Hoying asked as I made my way out the door. I stopped and turned around. He had avoided me completely during class today, and I could only guess that our almost kiss had been the cause of it. "I've decided to change your tutoring days from 2 days a week to 4."

I frowned. "Why? I don't even need the tutoring I have now, I don't know how that will benefit me in the least. You shouldn't waste your time on me. Don't you have like a wife to spend time with?" I asked him, and I saw his face grow sadder. 

Had I said something wrong. 

"I'm not married, Mitch," He said lightly. 

"Well, then surely you've got a girlfriend or something-"

"I'm gay, Mitch," He said quietly, and I froze. Mr. Hoying, my science teacher, was gay. 

"Oh. But, still, I don't know why you care so much? Why does it matter to you what happens to me? Why does it matter to you whether or not I put effort into my school work?" I demanded.

'You're my student, Mitch. Education for every single one of my pupils is important to me," He said.

"You're not doing this for anyone else! Why'd you have to single me out?" I asked. He turned away from me. 

"That's a good question," He whispered. His jaw clenched, and I noticed that he had a strong jawline. It was attractive, actually. My earlier thoughts came back to me, but I pushed them away. Stop, Mitch. You are straight, I thought to myself. I looked back up at Mr. Hoying.

"Are you just trying to get out of this because you need to get back to your various girlfriends. Rumors have been spreading like wildfire about you and two other female students," He said, and I knew he was joking. But he did seem curious.

"Neither of them are my girlfriends. People are just stupid," I muttered, and I saw something that looked like relief flit across his face.

"Let's just get started, okay Mitch?" He asked me, and I saw desperation on his face. He was practically begging me to let go of the subject, and I actually could not have been more content to let it go. I nodded in agreement. 

-

As I walked home, I let my thoughts take over. I was astonished, to say the least, knowing that he cared about me above all students. He was doing all of this for me. He was trying to help me. He cared about me. He hadn't denied it when I'd asked him why he cared so much. No one cared about me besides Kirstie. And I had no idea why. I was nothing special. And then the comment about Cindy and Kirstie. Why had he brought that up out of nowhere? I guess it did kind of make sense for him to want to know a bit about my dating life, considering I had assumed he was straight and in a relationship, when in reality, he was gay and single. 

At least he hadn't asked me about my sexuality. Because honestly, I had no idea what I would respond.

Straight, A small part of my brain whispered.

Gay, another part said. 

Straight. 

Gay. 

Straight?

Or... gay?

I reached my house and sighed as I saw the beaten up black car parked outside my house. Of course Jonah and his dad were here. I opened the door and was taken by surprise as my mom dragged me in the rest of the way. 

"Where the hell have you been?" She snarled. I flinched as she raised her hand back as if she were about to slap me.

"I- I was at s- school," I said quickly. "Doing the tutoring." 

"You had better not be lying to me, Mitchell," She said warningly, and walked back into the living room. I was shaking slightly as I walked up the stairs to my room. I saw Jonah sitting on my bed. 

"Why are you in my room?" I asked him. He looked up and shrugged. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bag of weed. I bit my lip, considering turning it down. I needed to clear my mind, for a little bit, to release a little stress. I nodded and he gestured me over so we could smoke my escape from reality.