Rumours Ruined Us

Angst

Lindsey felt more drunk as he downed the glassful, he looked at the previous glass shattered on the floor from earlier, it was how he felt, when Stevie had dumped him, like he was thrown against a wall and just broken. He sighed, puffing on the joint when there was a knock on the door "Who is it?" He called bluntly, his voice full of annoyance.

"It's Carol Ann!" Her voice replied.

Lindsey sighed and got up to open the door "Yeh?" He slurred.

"I thought I'd drop by!" She smiled.

"Well I thought you shouldn't!" He shrugged.

"Lindsey, why be like that?"

"Because, I'm me!" he stated, hiccupping.

"Your drunk, my poor man!" Carol Ann, rubbed his arm.

"Look Carol, I know I fucked you, but I don't want you as more than a one night stand, piss off!" he snapped, slamming the door in her face, he only wanted Stevie and he had only been with Carol Ann, because she had the same birthdate as Stevie and when his vison was blurred from alcohol and drugs, he pretended she was Stevie.

He went and plonked down on the boring hotel bed, then he went back to the door, sensing the woman was still outside, telling himself he needed to move on "Get your ass in here!" He said, opening it and seeing her still standing there, he face lit up like a lightbulb and she smiled, soon kissing him as she walked in.

"I like when your like this!" She giggled.

"I've only fucked you once, stop making out you've known me forever!" Lindsey snapped.

"Sorry Mr Buckingham!" Carol Ann winked "maybe you can teach me a lesson?"

"I'm not acting out some porno either!" He rolled his eyes and walked back to his glass, taking a swig.

"Fine then, I was only playing around, trying to be sexy!" Carol Ann sighed and turned her back, Lindsey glanced at her, downing the glass, if he drank enough, she'd look more like Stevie.

"Carol, its okay! Turn out the lights!" He smiled and she grinned back, going to the light switch. 

Stevie stumbled from her bed, kicking her boots off as she grabbed the wall, she wasn't tired, she couldn't even cry herself into exhaustion. She stood in front of the vanity mirror, she looked pale, skinny and depressed, like she was dying, mentally she was, she felt like an empty shell, like her soul had faded, she couldn't stand looking at herself.  "This is the price, I have to pay!" She whispered, rummaging around for more cocaine as she reached clumsily for a bottle of brandy, she had left open, accidentally knocking it 'Fuck!" She hissed, grabbing it as it hit the floor and tipped out a third of the liqour on to the carpet 'I cant do anything right anymore!" She never thought she would become like this, her parents had been right, this lifestyle wouldn't suit her, it was dangerous and Lindsey had been right about them not joining the band, yes, they had made money and fame, but they had lost each other and she had lost herself and the future they had planned.  "Took my love and took it down!" She softly sang, her voice breaking as she cried, falling to her knees and thinking off her only escape plan, more cocaine. Her and Lindsey had been losing each other since his father died, they had been doomed.    She tried to look on the upside as she swigged the bottle and sighed as the rich liquor burnt her throat, why couldn't she forget and feel euphoric?  She once again told herself, at least she had met, Mick, John and her best friend, besides Robin, Christine.  But, she lost Lindsey, she had only wanted a break for them to both get sorted but he had began flaunting groupies the second night after she ended things.    Why couldn't she let him go?  She made her way from the vanity and up the hall, Mick would have more cocaine, she thought, she just had to remember where his room was.

Christine felt slightly more relaxed as she tossed the heat pack of her stomach, just the stitches were pulling when she moved which kept reminding her. She should go check on Stevie, John was liable to come past, calling out to her again and she wasn't in the mood to deal with hearing his pitiful begging. It might just kill her if she had to hear his drunk and woeful cries of wanting her back. She slowly began making her way to the door after opening a bottle of vodka, when there was a knock, she opened it and sighed when she saw John "Chris, you look ill, are you alright?" He asked "Have you been crying?" He noticed her smudged eyeliner and mascara that had trailed down her cheeks..

"I will be okay, why are you here?" She asked, they had barely spoken since the divorce.

"I miss you!" He shrugged.

"Oh, your drunk again?" She asked "I really don't feel like dealing with you or anyone to be honest, I'm tired, John, I'm worn out, I'm exhausted!" Christine sighed.

John was shocked, she never usually admitted how she really felt "What's bought this on?" He asked.

"Nothing!" She replied briskly looking away.

"We were married for eight damn years, I know you!" He exclaimed.

"Not anymore you don't, if you ever did care about me at all, please just leave me be!" Christine looked at him pleadingly.

John was worried "If I love you, I wouldn't walk away when something's clearly wrong, now let me in!" 

"No!" She yelled "Are you gonna push your way in here and smash something, look how you smashed the vase from my mother at our house!" Christine screamed and John flinched feeling bad "Now just go!" She hissed, resting her hand against her stomach, that had started hurting again.

"It was just an object, our love is more than that!" 

"It was from my dead mother, I only married you to please her, now go!" Christine cried, the words she expelled, cut both ways, but John needed to get over her and maybe lying and hurting him would work.

John stared, hurt but wondering if she was still bullshitting to push him away, he knew how she could put up hr walls to protect herself. He nodded and walked away, hearing the door slam behind him, he felt bad and wanted to console her, but he knew he had fucked things up beyond repair, he saw that now more than ever, he decided to go and fetch Stevie, Christine would talk to her.