Rumours Ruined Us

Sadness

John watched nervously as his tiny son was whisked away by the medical staff and he felt even worse "This is all my fault Stevie!" He exclaimed crying as they were soon left in the messy room together, she had followed him in to try and see the baby boy "I fucking caused this, I hate myself! Christine is the love of my life and these babies are the only ones we ever had a chance with because she sterile now, because I left her heart broken! I am a horrible husband!" He frowned, rubbing his face and looking away from her.

"John..." Stevie stammered, not knowing what to say, she was blaming him too, she was angry with him but she knew how guilty he would feel because she felt guilty too, everyday she did, she regretted their intimate times, she could be carrying his child and she just married Lindsey, now Christine and the babies lives were at risk. 

"You know it is too, that's why you cant even answer me properly, I probably killed my own fucking wife and children!" He yelled and picked up a chair tossing it across the room and it hit the wall with a thud while Stevie started crying as she leapt backwards scared of his sudden outburst, she had seen Lindsey act like that too and she didn't like it. 

"What the fuck is going on in here!" Lindsey boomed, entering the room suddenly.

"Fuck off!" John snapped and stormed off out of the room because he felt like he was about to breakdown and he felt terrible. 

"Are you alright?" Lindsey asked Stevie as he stepped in front of her, she was shaking and hysterical now, as all the feelings flooded through her.  

"No, my best friend and her babies could die, I ruin everything, John and I are the same, fucking idiots!" She whimpered unable to even look at Lindsey as she cried harder and louder.

"Just be calm or you could go into labour too!" Lindsey soothed, gently pulling her into his arms and decided to tell her he knew "I know about you and John, it was the reason Christine went into labour because he told her!" Lindsey said softly as he rubbed Stevie's back.   

Stevie's worst fears were confirmed, Lindsey knew and she was sure she would loose him now "I never meant to lie, it was a mistake! I don't even love John like that, I only think of him as Christine's husband and now you will hate me, the band will break up, Christine and the tiny little babies could die.... because of me!" She wept and clung to him.

Lindsey was upset and he felt foolish for not knowing about her and John but what could he do but try to comfort her.  He loved her and the child she was carrying.  He thought it was his, he hoped it still was.  He hoped with every fibre of his being that Christine would be alright too and the babies would survive as well.   It was all a mess but he couldnt make Stevie feel worse.  They had just married, he thought it was the start of their lives together forever and he found about such a big secret "We were all really fucked up back then, its ok, I'm not mad!" Lindsey soothed and laid kisses in her messy curls.

"But look at the mess it has created, you will hate me and the baby now, you will obsess over John and I!" She sniffled.

"I could never hate you or the baby!" Lindsey replied, resting his hands on her stomach that was still covered by her wedding dress.

"I was scared to tell you because John and I meant nothing, I didnt want to lose you over some careless drunk sex!" she frowned.

"You havent lost me!" Lindsey replied trying to sound convincing, his thoughts were still all muddled and he had no idea what his true feelings were over the situation, he was just glad to be sober.

"I ruin everything, I need to try and find out about Christine's surgery, she could die over this!" Stevie gulped and pulled away, shivering at the thought "I need to be wait in the corridor.  I need to send all my thoughts as postive energy for her, I cant be selfish and worry about us over the mess I made!"  She added and then started walking off back into the hall.

"Dont blame yourself, John handled it all badly because he was probably drunk and high, but we just need to hope Chris and the babies will make it!" Lindsey soothed, wrapping his arm around her.

"I have a bad feeling, she was in so much pain, she was so upset, they are early and John and I weren't even allowed to touch the baby boy, he was taken to NICU!" Stevie sniffled.

"It will all be ok, Chrissy is tough and the babies will be too!" Lindsey tried to reassure. 

Mick, Carol Ann and Robin were all sitting worried in the corridor as Stevie and Lindsey went back out there. Mick was angry with John and John was back with his head in his hands.

"Any news?" Stevie asked and then they suddenly heard a door open and close, then followed by crying and they looked up the hall, it was Barbara and she looked distraught.

"Where is she, how is she, is she alright, what about the baby?" John asked hurriedly shooting up and rushing over to Barbara who had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Mama, what happened, where is Christine?" Stevie asked panicked and feeling sicker by the moment as she tried to conclude what had happened.