Rumours Ruined Us

Love

John came into the room and interrupted Christine's breakdown as clung to Stevie best she could, feeling so alone and trapped more than ever before and she just wished she could change it all.   John did too as he instantly rushed over and stroked her hair "I'm so sorry honey, I should have been there, oh Chrissy!" John sighed, kneeling down beside the hospital bed and wishing he could take her pain away, he knew she would regret her choice.

"Don't John, please!" Christine whimpered shaking her head and looking away as more tears streamed down her face, she hated people seeing her upset, especially men, even John.  She was afraid of ever letting anyone behind her mask because she couldn't handle being hurt again, any more heartbreak would kill her and she felt like she was already dying from her own choices and regrets. 

"Chris, I love you, I will be here for you, why didn't you talk to me, I know this is all my fault but I love you and always will, please, I'm so sorry, I hate myself, you nearly died and Mick told me a doctor was looking for me to talk to, what's happened, do you have serious damage from the infection?" John asked resting his hand on hers. His whole body was tense and he was overwhelmed with guilt but trying to be strong for her and let her know it would all be alright.

"I don't know John, just stop being so sweet to me!" Christine stated shaking her head and feeling bad "This is my fault okay!" She  added with a sad whisper. 

"No, you have been on a bender for weeks, but that Lucille girl meant nothing, she was crawling all over me and I was about to pass out, I thought you and I were back on track before that, but I ruined it by being a drunken wanker!" John exclaimed angry at himself.

"No, I'm not innocent ok John, I am just as much to blame for this shit, I have been drunk, high and stoned for weeks on end, I haven't thought properly and I only talked to Mick when it was too late!" She snapped, looking at him and crying more as she felt regret and she felt weak and foolish. 

"I don't care how you see yourself, I fucking love you, to me you are perfect!" John stated and gently cupped her face like she was a porcelain doll as he looked into her blue eyes that made it clear she was on some kind of drug in the hospital too. John knew every different shade of her eye colour, every look, every noise she made, he knew her and he loved her. "I am worried Chrissy!" He soothed and she stared straight into his soul and saw the man she loved so dearly.  She was always surprised at how gentle he was to her and his touch full of love especially when he was sober, she could feel the love radiating off him and all she felt was love too. 

"Its not that easy John!" She stammered "I cant have our babies anymore, all the little penguins we planned!" She whimpered and burst into another fit of tears while John did his best to hug her, feeling her pain. He was being very careful because he had no idea where she was injured or what type of operation she had, but it tugged on his soul. She had always hated medical things and now she had plunged into a permanent thing without even consulting him, he was still even legally married to her and he loved her.

Stevie felt bad as she watched them, all the realisation hit her about how petty and teenage age like they had been and she knew that lifestyle could lead them to their grave of the grave of their only little bit of sanity left and she could see the love between the McVie's the most sober she had ever seen them, then the doctors opened the doors "Mr and Mrs McVie, I really need to talk to you both!" She smiled warmly and Christine squeezed John's hand as Stevie blew a kiss and left the room after some brief chit chat of Christine. 

Stevie was soon back in the hall and Lindsey was there "Linds!" She stammered, her voice caught in her mouth like a mouse squeak. 

"How is Chrissy?" He asked concerned.

"The doctor wants to talk them both but I made my mind up today Lindsey!" Stevie gulped "I fucked up too, but I want to give it another go, life is too short, Chris could have died, we are all slowly dying and dragging on our health because we love eachother!"