Phan Oneshots

How it feels

Fluffy smut.
Comfort shit ig.
Yeh.

-----------------------------------------------------

All Dan ever wanted to feel was loved. He wanted to know how it felt to be completely and utterely appreciated and adored by someone; to be loved beyond his very being and to be able to know without a doubt that they love him. Of course he knows motherly love and sibling love, the weird relationship of love him and his father share towards one another and the pure love he experienced with his childhood dog, but he wants to be loved. He wants to have someone be in love with him. He wants to be the highlight of someones day, week, year. He wants to be the reason there is a loving smile on the face and why they glow with happiness. He wants someone to boast about him and not be ashamed that they love him.
Dan thought this was an unrealistic dream, something out of a fairytale or Disney movie, and was content with daydreaming about it instead of actually expecting it to happen. He thought no one could truly love him, no one could actually be in love with him.
And than he met Phil.
They started out as those people who had mutual friends, and then they turned into friends, and then it evolved into something else. Something that had Dan's chest warm and felt an erratic feeling stinging through his veins as his heart beat increased. They bickered and teased and flirted, they went out on dates and then one night Phil got the balls to ask Dan to be his boyfriend.
Dan had had boyfriends before and some girlfriends, he had felt the fuzzy warmth in his chest and the butterflies before and his dream to feel loved was still put on a shelf and filed away for a nice day of daydreaming. He had already come to terms with it that he was not going to get that. That he would find someone eventually but he would never have that feeling of wholeness, that assurance of love that is only for him. As they dated Dan realised he hopes that Phil will be his last ever relationship. He wants to be with him forever, and he got the courage to tell Phil as much and Phil smiled brightly and told him he wanted that too.
Dan was content.
He kept a journal and he wrote his worries down in it.
Dan never expected anyone to read it but he should of realised that living with someone as nosy and caring as Phil would read it if he was worried enough about him.
And that is how Dan and Phil got in this situation.
Standing in their room, staring at each other and the air thick with tension.
---------------------

Dan looks at his journal held loosly in Phil's hand and then back at Phil's big concerned and maybe slightly hurt eyes.

"Do you really feel this way?" Dan closes his eyes at the hurt crack in Phil's voice.

"Phil..." He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to say it. "It's okay, I know that you can't, that it doesn't happen...."

"Dan."

"It's a silly dream, its not even a dream really. Its just a thought you know?"

"Dan."

"From watching to many Disney movies and reading to many fairytales and-" Dan stopped rambling and opens his eyes when Phil's hand holds his cheek gingerly. His thumb stroked his cheek and his other hand came up and held his chin tenderly, making Dan look up at him. Phil's eyes are soft and bright and loving, and Dan can't find his breath.

"Dan," Phil says affectionately and Dan's knees start to wobble and his throat feels dry because Phil has never said his name like this before, never looked at him like this before, no one has ever said his name or looked at him like this before; like he is desperately trying to portray every feeling inside him that he feels and wrap it around Dan like a blanket. Dan now wishes he had put on a shirt before they started this conversation because he feels his blush spread all the way down to his chest.

"I am so entirely, absolutely positivitely, and utterly in love with you." Dan's breathing comes out in stutters and somehow his fists are clentching Phil's shirt tightly as if to ground himself to the situation. The way Phil airly breathed out 'in love with you' was making his mind spin. It was so fierce yet airy, soft but determined, and Dan can barely breathe.
The hand on his chin pulls him closer and Phil is kissing him but it feels as if Dan has never been kissed before. This is a whole new way of being kissed. Not once, in his entire life, not even by Phil, has he been kissed like this.
They have kissed, yes. Not all of them have been the hot and desperate rush of arousal they have when they have sex, some have been the sweet pecks on the lips or the lazy makeout sessions but none of them have been like this; soft, languid, and slow. Dan tilts his head up and to the side just a bit more, his eyes closing lightly and easily. He moves his lips with Phil, and nothing has ever been so fluid and simple in his entire life but nothing about this is simple, nothing about the feelings Phil is showing is simple.
Dan's hands unclench Phil's shirt and one splays out on his chest and the other on the side of his neck and he leans in a bit more, seemingly becoming one with Phil. Phil lightly pulls away and their breath mixes in the small space between them. Dan's chest feels like it is heaving but everything is so quiet and slow and perfect that it must just be his heart beating erratically in his chest. The hand on Dan's cheek leaves to rest on the small of his back and Phil starts slowly pressing soft and loving kisses all over Dan's face. He starts with his chin, straying to the right to kiss his cheek and the blush misting them. Then the freckles under his eyes, then the bridge of his nose, the tip, then he is kissing the left cheek. The freckles, the blush, the cheekbone. His kisses move the his temple, then the other and Dan's breath hitches as Phil's lips softly kiss each eyelid. His arms circle around his waist and he holds Dan so close to him and he presses another soft kiss to his forehead, letting it linger for a moment before he starts nosing through his hair, and something warm starts to hum under Dan's skin and goose bumps rise of his skin. He almost startles when Phil kisses the skin right under his ear but he feels so safe in Phil's embrace that he doesn't and he opens his mouth to say something, he doesn't remember what now even though it was merely a second ago he thought of it, but his voice doesn't seem to work. Phil's nose brushes the skin inbetween his shoulder and neck and his arms tighten as he takes a deep breath. Small kisses on Dan's shoulder make Dan's hands start to shake and he doesn't know how much longer he can stay standing. Phil noses at Dan's jaw and removes an arm from around his waist to gently hold the hand Dan has on Phil's jaw. Dan opens his eyes and this time his knees actually buckle and he has to slump into Phil to stay upright, even with an arm still around his waist. Phil smiles adoringly and he guides Dan's hand to his lips to give a loving peck to his fingertips. He intertwines their fingers together and slowly leads them to the bed. He pulls his hand back reaches down and grabs behind Dan's shaking knees and lifts him up bridal style. Dan manages a tiny squeek of surprise and then Phil is laying him down in the middle of the bed gently and with such care something inside Dan glows. The way Phil is looking at him, like he is his everything, makes Dan melt into the mattress and turn his gaze away from him sheepishly. He feels the mattress dent as Phil gets on and then he feels him hover over him.
"Look at me?" Phil asks softly, lovingly. Usually in a situation that involves Phil over Dan, he is demanding and in control and Dan is begging and squirming and everything is so hot and fast but this is the complete opposite and Dan can't help but giving in and looking at Phil as the lovingly patient voice breaks the silence.
"You're beautiful." Then a soft kiss is placed on his lips.
Dan feels himself blush and he has the urge to look away again but he steels himself, maintaining eyecontact with him.
"You're my everything." A kiss on his chest over the heart and Dan suddenly feels awkward with his hands just at his sides. He lifts them up and holds the sides of Phil's face. Phil closes his eyes and leans into the touch for a moment before he turns his head and kisses the palm of Dan's hand. He opens his eyes and then they are looking at each other, and Dan feels his skin flush and his stomache turn.
"You," Phil whispers as he lowers his head and drags his lips over the skin of Dan's collar bones, "are the love of my life."
Dan's head falls back against the pillows and his breathing is coming out faster and his arousal starts to be evident in his pants.
"You are the highlight, not only of my days, weeks, years, but of my entire life."
Phil runs his open palm up Dan's chest as his other hand plays with the button on Dan's pants.
"Dan?"
He opens his eyes, he doesn't remember closing them, and looks at Phil. Phil is straddled over his thighs and his hands hovering above the waistline of his Dan's pants in question. Dan can't find his voice so he nods surely.
Phil slowly, so slowly, removes Dan's pants and boxers. He has to get off the bed and stand up to drag the clothes off all the way and as the bundle gets to Dan's ankles, he slowly lifts one foot, removes the clothes and then repeats with the other foot. Usually when Phil is taking off Dan's clothes its hurried and they either stay bundled up at his ankles or Dan impatiently kicks them off, and Dan's lungs stutter in their movements for breathing at the way Phil is taking care of Dan so lovingly.
Phil takes his jeans off but leaves his shirt and boxers on as he crawls back into bed with Dan. This time he is to the right of him, laying down on his side instead of being ontop of him. Dan looks at him with big eyes but he doesn't think he can control his body much more than that. Phil tenderly places his hand on the outside of Dan's left thigh and tugs him so he is also laying on his side. Phil's hand stays on his thigh, thumb carressing the skin around it gently and his other hand settles under Dan's face and tugs him closer for another loving kiss. Dan moves a hand to splay out under Phil's shirt and explores the warm skin under it. Dan can feel Phil's arousal but Phil doesn't seem to be concerned with it right now. Then Phil is urging Dan to lay on his back again and he is scooting closer so his whole body is crowded up next to Dan's. The hand on his face moves to play with his hair and the one on his thigh slowly moves inward to the inside. Dan's face is still looking at Phil's and he wonders if Phil can hear his heart beat in the silence. It isn't an awkward silence or one filled of tension. It is as if they are wrapped up in the aura of themselves and nothing can disturb them.
Dan's penis twitches as Phil gets closer to his hole, he doesn't know what to expect, they have never been like this before. Then Phil's fingers are at his entrance and he massages the area for a second or two before he puts a finger inside Dan. There is no lube, no spit, nothing, it's just the raw slide of Phil's finger entering him. He squirms from the pain but Phil kisses him and whispers on his lips, "Sh sh, let me take care of you.", and Dan can't help but sigh and melt into himself. The fact that it is just him and Phil, no outside factors to help them, is probably why the pain subsided so fast, or rather, how Dan was able to push it out of his mind and focus on the pleasure. Phil loosens him with his finger enough for him to add a second. Phil places kisses Dan's shoulder and his two fingers are still inside of him. Dan feels himself relax and Phil must of too because now his two fingers are moving. Phil continues kissing everywhere he can reach on Dan. Shoulder, neck, ear, cheek, lips, nose and then there is three fingers inside of him. Dan sighs and holds the side of Phil's face to bring him to his lips again. Phil kisses each lip individually before capturing both with his own. This time Phil licks into Dan's mouth and Dan's jaw goes slack for a moment, had he of been standing he would of fallen. Even though tongue is involved this time it doesn't change the speed and intensity or passion of the kiss. It is still nothing like Dan has ever experienced before. 
"Phil..." Dan sighs out as their lips seperate and Dan hears Phil's breath hitch. He opens his eyes and they are so caught up in each other that neither pays attention to their neglected cocks.
"Phil," Dan sighs again, bringing a hand up to run up Phil's shirt again and place his hand on his chest as he slowly pushes him onto his back and he finds himself half laying onto of him, but their faces are still the same minimal distance they were. "I want you." he whispers and he hears Phil gulp.
"You have me." He kisses Dan for a long moment before he removes his boxers. Dan slowly removes Phil's shirt and he falls back onto his back as Phil leans up to let it be removed. Dan places his hand on Phil's jaw again and, suddenly sheepish, cast his eyes downward, "Take care of me?"
Phil puts his hand on Dan's chin and then Dan is looking at him again.
"Always."  He says with certainty.
His eyes are glowing with, love, adoration, caring, and, and, Dan doens't even know, all he knows is his heart brims with the feeling of love and he starts tugging Phil on top of him and Phil gladly accepts and their cocks rub together. Phil turns them so they are both on their side and he starts stroking both of them. Dan lets out a soft 'oh' and his eyes flutter but he doesn't let them close all the way. He wants to keep looking at Phil, and Phil is also looking at him and everything is perfect. Dan's hand wraps under Phil's arm and he clings to his back. His eyes are heavy and half open but he keeps looking at Phil who's eyes are a bit wide and he looks at Dan as if memorising every single detail of his face. The strokes are slow and unhurried and somehow it is enough to keep pushing them over the edge. Dan is letting out soft sighs and small pants every so often and Phil is smiling at him. Dan is usually very vocal, screaming and begging and such, and Phil loves it he does, but he has to admit, he loves this a lot too.
It isn't long before they are both cumming and Dan's whole body is humming and glowing. Phil is kissing him deeply again and before Dan can react, since he is sluggish from his high, Phil moved to kiss his jaw, then throat, then shoulder, the other shoulder, his chest, his hips his thighs, knees, calfs, ankles, and the top of his feet, before he is coming back up and repeating the process. They are slow, tender, kisses and it's almost as if Phil has stopped time. Dan closes his eyes and lets himself feel Phil's lips on his body. This time he kisses up each arm starting from the palm of his hand to his shoulder. When he kisses up his neck Dan is pursing his lips, ready to be kissed but instead Phil kisses his chin, cheek, the other cheek, nose, eyelids, forehead, his eyelids again, nose, cheek, the other cheek, chin and Dan is about to grab Phil's face and do it himself when he finally kisses Dan again. Phil kisses him then pulls away just enough to kiss him again. And thats how it went for awhile, just them kissing and pulling away only to kiss again before Dan threaded his fingers in Phil's hair and deepens the kiss. Goosebumps rise on Dan's skin and his grip in Phil's hair tightens. Phil's hands found themselves on Dan's chest and cheek. When they finally pulled away, time started again, and Dan's cheeks flushed but he didn't look away from Phil and Phil opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't seem to find the right words, he ended up just staring at Dan with a soft, loving face and his mouth slightly ajar.
He blinked a couple of times and he turned them so they were on their sides again.

"Dan," Dan shivered as he said his name like he did earlier, and his grip on Phil tightened, "I will spend the rest of my life, if you let me, showing you how I feel towards you, because I love you so much and I want you to feel it, to feel how much I feel towards you, I want you to know, without a single doubt, that you are the only person I could possibly ever love. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Dan's chest tightened and untightened in quick succession before Dan realised that, yes, he knew that. He knew that. It almost made him laugh.
"Phil, I love you so much, Oh God, I love you so much."

Phil hugged him and pulled him onto his chest. He reached down and pulled up the covers and pulled it over themselves snuggling more closly to Dan. "Never doubt what you mean to me." He whispers and kisses the mess of hair on Dan's head.

Dan smiles and somehow pulls himself closer to Phil, any closer and he will go right through him, and he knows, without a doubt, what it feels like to be loved completely.

---------------------------

yeh yeh

boom

I am so sick its not even funny. I missed a college class! I can't believe I did that! I threw up all over in the hallway and I am so embarressed how do I show my face again?!?!?!?! Ugh!