spiderson oneshots

Splits

It was a causal Sunday morning at the Avengers Facility, or what you could call, "casual." Everyone was doing their usual; Clint and Natasha were watching T.V, Thor was munching away on Poptarts, Tony was in his lab, Steve and Bucky were in the training room, Rhodey and Sam were still asleep, and Peter was giving Wanda her daily English lesson.

"Okay, so for some reason people get really upset when you miss-use the words: who and whom, and who's and whose," Peter explained, rolling his eyes. Wanda raised her eyebrows.

"Aren't they the same word?" she asked quizzically. Peter shook his head.

"Apparently not. It's so annoying when the readers scream at the author for it," he complained before a timer went off, signaling the end of their discussion.

"Wait- readers?" Wanda said, eyes staring at her brother-like figure. Peter just shook his head.

"Not important, lets go!" Peter and Wanda left his room and made their way back to the living room where everyone had gathered after their free-time for lunch.

"Okay guys, food should be down in about an hour or so," Steve informed before heading off to the kitchen. Everyone groaned at the thought of waiting, but soon occupied themselves with either watching t.v or playing cards... unless you're Peter and Natasha and your doing yoga.

"Wanna play a game, aunt Nat?" Peter asked quietly, smirking. Natasha caught on to his devious smile and raised her eyebrows.

"What are you thinking of, Pete?" she asked, voice nearly a whisper.

"How about we just scare people by doing the splits a shit ton" he whispered. Natasha smirked and nodded.

"Agreed."

Natasha and Peter stood up from the floor and split up. Peter innocently strolled into the kitchen. "Hey uncle Steve?" he asked sweetly, gaining the attention of the super-soldier.

Steve turned around. "Yeah, Peter?" he replied, leaning on the counter. Peter smiled.

"Wanna see a magic trick?" he asked. Steve nodded and Peter jumped in the air, spread his legs and landed on the ground in the splits, scaring the absolute shit out of the elder.

"OH MY GOD YOU COULD'VE HURT YOURSELF!" Steve screeched, hurrying over to the boy. Peter just laughed and quickly stood, cracking his back.

"Oof, I gotta get into shape!" he exclaimed before casually strolling out of the kitchen, leaving Steve completely confused.

Whilst Peter was scaring Steve, Natasha was sneaking up on Clint and Sam. "Hey boys?" she asked, gaining their attention.

Cling raised an eyebrow. "Yeah Nat-" he was cut off by Sam screaming as Natasha went into the splits.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU SCARED ME!" Sam screamed. Natasha laughed before getting up and strolling back to the couch as if nothing had happened.

Days later this game was still heading strong. Peter decided to take it one step further and had Ned tape him while they were in gym. The class was was playing dodgeball and Peter was the last one in against Flash.

Flash threw the ball full-force, and just as it was about to nail Peter in the head, he ducked down and did the splits, successfully dodging the offending ball. It distracted Flash just long enough for Peter to jump to his feet and chuck a ball (that definitely went over sixty-miles an hour) at Flash and hit him square in the chest, knocking him off his feet.

"I win!" Peter acclaimed with a laugh. Ned gave him a thumbs up before ending the video. Peter ran over and took his phone back before sending the file to Natasha.

And when the notification popped up on her phone seconds later, and she started belting out laughs, the Avengers ran for their goddamn lives.

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this is... well- i don't even know