spiderson oneshots

A Series of Phone Calls

First it happened during school.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and Peter Parker was sitting in chemistry class, jotting down notes from the powerpoint presentation. As he was writing, he felt a slight buzz in his pocket, but didn't think anything of it until he heard his phone start to ring.

"Hump me, fuck me, daddy better make me choke. You better-"

Everyone's heads whipped around to see a flustered Peter ripping his phone, his eyes wide.

"Mr. Parker," the teacher stated, an amused yet serious expression on her face. "Put it on speaker."

Swallowing thickly, Peter hit answer and the speaker button, biting his lip nervously.

"Wade, why the hell are you calling me during school?" he asked, voice expressionless yet hot at the same time.

"I missed my honey muffin, that's why!" a voice shouted through the phone, confusing everyone. Peter face palmed.

"Yeah, I miss you too. But do you see me calling you during meetings? No. I didn't think so." he replied, obviously annoyed.

"Fine. But when you get home I'm going to pound you into your be-"

Blushing fiercely, Peter cut the caller off. "Alright gotta go, bye!"

Peter's classmates stared in shock at the teen who shoved his phone back into his pocket, grumbling about how he was gonna kill Wade and shove him in a fire.

-

Next it happened at the dinner table with the Avengers.

Peter was sat between Clint and Natasha, his only aunt and one of his many uncles, with his dad and mom in front of him and his "sister" Wanda sitting next to them. The rest of the Avengers were scattered around the large dining table, munching away on the chow mein they got.

"Walk into the club seeing me saying fuck everybody but me, everybody but me-"

"MJ! What the hell!" Peter groaned into his phone once he put the device up to his ear. The Avengers could faintly hear the snickering of a female on the other end.

"But you know that I'm eating dinner!" Peter said. "...No I'm not bringing you chocolate- oh... you're on- oh... i'll be over in ten minutes."

And with that Peter hung up, jumped from his seat and hurried out the door, leaving a group of chuckling heroes behind.

-

It happened again, but this time during a meeting with Stark Industries.

"Say little bitch you can't fuck with me, if you wanted to-"

"Oh my motherfucking god," Peter groaned before yanking his phone from his suit jacket and angrily clicking the answer button, putting the phone up to his ear. "Ned I swear to god this better be important."

The company representatives watched in confusion as the teen heir to Stark Industries argues over his cellular.

"Ned you're a fucking idiot- No! I'm not leaving this meeting to go see Starwars with you. No I don't care."

It was silent for a few moments before Peter sighed, slamming his head on the table.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

-

And lastly, it happened during lunch in the cafeteria.

"Smoke weeeeeed everyday-"

"WhY!!" Peter complained as he slammed his phone onto the table, wincing at the caller I.D. He put it up to his ear after clicking answer.

"Flash why the hell are you calling me across the cafeteria? ...you don't want to get up to get your own food. Are you kidding me?"

The surrounding tables raised their eyebrows at the teen as he aggressively stood up, walking through the lunch line and stakes over to Flash, setting the black tray filled with random-ass food on the table. Sitting back down at his own seat, Peter facepalmed.

"I really need to switch my ringtones."

-

Please Read!!!

okay first- so i know this is short but i've been busy the last few days.

and secondly i've been getting a lot of messages asking me to do smut, but i just refuse. i have a lot of young readers and many people get uncomfortable reading it, so i'm sorry but i'm not doing it unless like all of you want it