❝Can you hear my heart breaking inside my chest? Can you hear my screams? Because I don't think you can, and that scares me even more, because what if no one saves me?❞
ORDER of the PHOENIX,
DEATHLY HALLOWS
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𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓 murderer's been made
✦
TICK-TOCK ON the clock, time was running out. The little noise, the little ticks as time moved irked Maia with the reminders that time was running out, that nothing was working, and that everything was about to go horribly wrong and she was going to lose all she cared about soon enough. The calendars turned from winter to spring so easily, as if it didn't have a care in the world, as if it didn't care that soon the world would be ending for Maia and that nothing was ever going to be the same. As if the world was laughing because she was going to become the one thing she didn't want to be, and she would such a golden girl to those who didn't know golden at all.
Time had not been nice to Maia, as her face became more sunken, and she became more isolated. As she had a fight with Calypso because her cousin was worried about her and that broke her heart, because she was dying and withering while Calypso was gleaming and glittering. High above the clouds, she was flying and soaring when the world was trying to break her, and all the while Maia was being beaten into the ground, allowing herself to be walked over.
She was a withering flower. No longer beautiful, no longer cared about, but she didn't want to be cared about. Because when she looked at Calypso, and saw the worry in her eyes, and the little anger when Maia snapped at her, she imagined how that anger would blossom into hatred when she learned that little Maia Amara was not-so perfect at all and instead of being their golden child, she was glittering and golden for those without any gold at all.
And she can imagine the tearful eyes of Nadia, wondering where she went wrong, and if this was all her fault. And she knew that if Remelda was still alive, she would cursing herself for not protecting Maia more from her parentage and their legacy, but she was not alive; she was dead and didn't have to curse herself. It was not Remelda's fault, it was not Nadia's fault, it was Maia's. Hers for existing, hers for living, and hers for not telling them when Alfred and Narcissa first approached her.
But she was so scared, so scared, and she didn't want anything to happen to them. She was a little girl back then, but she thought of herself as more grown more. Grown up too much and grown past the point of return, grown past the point where she could turn around and tell all, asking for protection and forgiveness.
She had made her choice, now she just had to live with it. The legacy of the Carrow family always found a way; and now it was tormenting her, claiming her as one of their own and torturing her. Exploiting her. Using her like a little puppet on strings.
She didn't even want to imagine Leo's reaction, when all was said in done. Her brother – her twin – looking back at the photos of when they were younger, when it was them against the world, and wondering where it all turned. When it went from playing tag in their grandpa's backyard to her being a murderer with a mark of darkness and death on her arm.
