colour splash // phan au

twenty one

phil wanted to punch the mirror. he hated it. just the other night he was wearing a suit to prom, now he was wearing a button up and jeans to a court hearing. he wanted to scream.

"okay, honey, are you ready?" his mum cooed, throwing her arm around phil's hunched shoulders.

"i guess so." phil deadpanned, shrugging, and turning to see his mum.

she tugged the end of her lips up into a smirk. "you know, i know i wasn't always the best parent. i was so hard on you, and i never really cut you any slack." she stated, rubbing phil's shoulders with her thumbs. "but i want you to know that i do love you, and i love that you and dan are happy. i know it's been a bumpy road phil, and i know coming to grips with reality is hard, but i assure you you're not going anywhere. this is our home, philip. and it will remain as so."

phil felt tears stinging his eyes fiercely.

coming to grips with reality was hard. the reality that his parents detested each other, the reality that phil broke the law too many times, the reality that he may no longer reside in the town he's always known.

there was something in phil that compelled him to tell the truth about his color to his mum. he knew it may end awful, but he wanted it completely transparent before all of the custody nonsense began.

"mum, c-can i tell you something?" phil asked, wiping stray tears off of his cheeks.

she whispered, "of course, dear."

phil swallowed every ounce of pride he thought he had, and prayed for the best.

"please don't be mad, but mum, i-" he felt like his stomach was in his throat.

he didn't know why it bothered him so much now, he never really thought that much about it before hand. but now it was hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"i've faked my colour before." phil cried, holding onto her like a scared little kid. "i pretended to be a black because i didn't feel good enough to be a pink. i'm so sorry!"

his mum didn't say anything. she just held onto him, and stayed real quiet as she grasped phil between her arms.

"i felt so pressured, and-and i haven't done it since i met dan, mum he talked me out of it. no one ever noticed it was so bizarre, and i'm so sorry." he rambled on in a babble of tears.

mrs. lester finally spoke. "well, i'm not happy about it, and we can discuss more of this later. but i think it can be our little secret for now. okay?" she reasoned, stroking phil's hair lovingly.

"m-okay." phil sniffled, burying his face in her shoulder. "i don't know why i told you. i think i wanted a clean slate for today. you deserve to know everything, mum."

she rubbed phil's head slowly, and then she pulled him off of her shoulder. "come along now, phil. the sooner we get there, the sooner we can come back home and put all of this behind us."

phil nodded, wiping away his tears, and wishing dan were allowed to be there so that the first thing he could do was assure dan that everything from there on out would be amazing for the both of them.

****

"your honor, if i may object-" mrs. lester interrupted, trying to cut in on what phil's father was saying.

"overruled," the dark haired man spoke, "allow mr. lester to explain."

phil's mum unwillingly obeyed and listened to the lies mr. lester spoke.

phil sat in the back of the court room, he had already been questioned.

they were easy questions to answer. things like "how's your home life?" and "which parent would you like to be with?"