colour splash // phan au

six

torment. complete and utter torment.

i love you, dan

different is beautiful.

none of that was true. his mind cried it, and screamed it at him. apparently, everyone at school agreed with him. it was constant.

"he doesn't really love you," an orange would sneer.

"he told me he secretly wishes you would kill your self," said the stalky purple from dan's third period.

it was so bloody hard not to believe them at this point. after hearing it everyday, like the words were being breathed down his neck. and trying to deny it, trying to shut it out. it was nearly impossible.

sometimes, the teachers even joined in.

sadly, it was all dan's mum talked about.

phil, phil, phil, phil, phil.

always something about how much she adored him, or how sweet he was. how he was better than dan by miles.

during history, something hit dan in the back. he turned to see a yellow, very small and cute, giggling with a note in her hands. she passed it to dan, excitedly.

nothing new.

everyone behind her restrained laughs and snickers while waiting for him to open it. dan took the note and shoved it in his binder, with the other notes he'd collected since they started coming on wednesday. he hadn't opened a single one. he was waiting for the weekend, so that he wouldn't feed into what they were doing, or trying, to do to him.

because dan didn't open the note, the class got disappointed. even the teacher seemed let down that she had to continue teaching instead of watch those events unfold.

bing

fourth period was over. just lunch, fifth, sixth, seventh, and study hall left before dan had a two day freedom from this hell on earth. but two days was never enough. maybe dan could just skip monday for an extra day of relief. hopefully three days would be enough to sooth his screeching demons and keep them at bay.

and phil, once again, leaves dan stranded at high tide.

having friends, or, a friend, was incredibly hard. harder than resisting the urge to be more than friends.

****

the park was dull. lacking conversations, lacking silly, child-like laughter. and lacking the right feelings.

"i can tell something is up, dan." phil said softly, shifting to his left side "would you like to share what's bothering you, without yelling or arguing?"

a rush of cold, fall air nipped at dan's red fingertips, causing him to shudder as goosebumps spread up his spine.

"no-" dan blurted, phil gave him a pleading look. "well.." dan sighed heavily. "on the contrary to my first statement, it'd entice me to relive some of my troubles."

phil's eyes flashed up to the sky as his lips curved into that beautiful, authentic smile of his.

"you still talk funny, just like that first day we met."

dan blushed lightly at reminiscing on the much happier past. it was hard to believe that since august twenty-sixth, to the present time of october seventh, so much had changed.

dan's thoughts bubbled over. and he suddenly realized that phil was living, breathing just like him. he had a beating heart and a thinking mind. and although some aspects of phil's life, like his feelings, family, and upbringing were different, they were both alive.